20 Hilarious Tweets About the Struggles of Diet and Exercise

Do people who run marathons know they don’t have to?

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) March 23, 2019

Adulthood is when you constantly diet and exercise so you can maintain being 20lbs overweight

— Bart (@bartandsoul) May 16, 2022

My go-to workout is 30 minutes of cardio followed by 5 years of rest.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 18, 2022

I didn't gain weight, I am just another victim of inflation

— mean things I say to myself (@meantomyself) June 23, 2022

Saw a couple holding hands while jogging and it made me hopeful that one day I will meet someone who will hate them with me.

— Robin McCauley Lynch (@RobinMcCauley) March 5, 2014

Nurse: “Have you had any unexplained weight gain this past year?”

Me: “No, there are explanations.”

— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) June 8, 2021

At this point, my goal weight is just to look good in a seatbelt.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) February 27, 2018

trying the new “baked potato diet.” It’s just eating as many baked potatoes as I want and feeling happy

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) July 26, 2022

My diet logic:

I already failed by eating one cookie.

Might as well eat 75 more.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 7, 2017

Taking breaks from exercise, or rest days, is very important to a fitness regimen. I’m on rest day 532 and I feel great.

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 14, 2022

Some couples exercise together.

My wife and I send each other articles when we're sitting in the same room.

— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 7, 2022

DOCTOR: How often do you exercise?
ME: 3 times
DOCTOR: A week? A month?
ME: I have given my answer

— The Dad (@thedad) September 7, 2018

Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M's because let's be honest here.

— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) August 5, 2015

Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.

— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) March 11, 2017

ATE A SALAD FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT

WELL IT WAS MOSTLY CROUTONS & TOMATOES.

WELL REALLY IT WAS JUST ONE BIG, ROUND CROUTON COVERED WITH TOMATO SAUCE. AND CHEESE.

FINE, IT WAS PIZZA. I ATE A PIZZA.

— mariana Z (@mariana057) March 24, 2021

If by yoga you mean reaching the outlet to plug in my charger without getting out of bed, then yes, I do yoga

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) October 16, 2022

Husband “I thought you were dieting?”

Me “I am”

Husband “You just ate 6 Oreos”

Me “Yes but I want to eat 12. See – Dieting”

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) March 16, 2018

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 6, 2020

I’m letting the new exercise bike get acclimated to its new environment before I put laundry on it. pic.twitter.com/pTPSoPEhDo

— Sooz (@CruisinSoozan) December 31, 2019

intermittent fasting? i just slept 7 hours without a snack what more do you want from me?

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2021