If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
My daughter keeps exclaiming, “What in tarnation?” when something surprises her. It’s cute but a little like living with a 3rd Grade Yosemite Sam.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) January 31, 2024
#2
My 3yo asked if I could please turn the baby down because he can’t hear the tv
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) June 25, 2022
#3
there should be like a second horn on your car for when the light is green and the person in front of you isn't going bc they're on their phone but you're not like mad about it. hi bestie i love you beep beep it's driving time
— cait.bsky.social (@punished_cait) May 9, 2023
#4
Halfway through my kid’s crazy complicated Subway order, the guy asked “Where you going with this sandwich, man?”
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) August 20, 2023
#5
my 5yo insisted her friend’s name was hopper so now HARPER’S parents think we have an accent
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) October 29, 2022
#6
Welcome to your 40's. You're more interested in figuring out what show this actress has been in before than the show you're watching her in now.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 16, 2023
#7
My mom gave my kid $2 and he immediately taped the bills to the wall like some kind of small business owner
— meghan (@deloisivete) August 27, 2023
#8
Accidentally stumbled on my kid’s diary where she says sweet things about me like how she loves me and how she can’t sleep all night because I snore “like cow and pig.”
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) January 17, 2023
#9
Lost the library card. Been missing over a month.
— MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) May 3, 2023
Went and got a new library card.
Came home, put library card in a safe place and found old library card in the same spot.
#10
6yo, looking at a cemetery: WAIT HOW CAN THEY ALL DIE IN ONE SPOT
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) August 2, 2023
#11
i love taking dayquil. why feel a little sick when you could feel totally insane
— trash jones (@jzux) May 10, 2023
#12
Sometimes I think I’m reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness.
— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) April 15, 2018
#13
4-year-old eating a pink frosted donut covered in sprinkles: “This is the best bagel I have EVER had!”
— KSV (@KSVesq) May 9, 2023
#14
Asked my 5-yo to clean her room multiple times today. She assured me she did. I went in: literally nothing had changed. “In what world,” I asked, “is this a clean room?”
— Katie Gutierrez (@katie_gutz) August 2, 2023
She looked me dead in the eye. “In a TRASH world.”
#15
3-year-old walked in with her hands behind her back and said “I’m not holding anything behind my back, I’m just going up to my room,” and then sidled upstairs calling “I’m not tricking you!” over her shoulder. Why do I feel like this is a trick
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 2, 2023
#16
Lol my 6th grader has to call his best friend’s grandma’s landline and is very unsure what to do if someone besides his friend answers.
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) August 21, 2023
YES YOU HAVE TO MAKE SMALL TALK WITH THEM SON.
#17
I love that my sister and I have the kind of relationship where if our phone call ends abruptly when my phone dies, we both mutually understand that there is no call back.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 26, 2023
#18
My 5yo just told me all about one of his favorite classes: cafeteria
— meghan (@deloisivete) September 8, 2023
#19
My wife is hilarious
— Dad 2.0 – soon to contain more corn (@DadaBaseThought) May 11, 2023
We’ve been trying to get ahold of our sons daycare corporate for 4 months and they literally do not answer phones or email
She applied for a job and when they contacted her for an interview she asked to be transferred to the person we needed to talk to
#20 I laughed out loud!
My kid asked if that lady is tiny. pic.twitter.com/Lm6ytjhV9P
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) May 4, 2019
