If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
The pilot of this flight just said “the crew is headed up by my ex-wife Elena” so, excited to see where this goes
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 14, 2023
#2
My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Some highlights:
— Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter (@nameshiv) February 21, 2023
"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Hold on to it. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world"
#3
Avocado: not ripe
— Elspeth Eastman (@ElspethEastman) September 18, 2016
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW
Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted
#4
Not my 9 year old telling me she’s having a problem with a boy at school so they’re having a rap battle tomorrow 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
— Dyoncé (@Dyonnce) July 27, 2021
#5
Wow, y’all! I just figured out how to get hubs to finally install those ceiling fans. I got a ladder, a yardstick, & a pencil, climbed up & said “Ok, the fan is 52” so how big do I need to cut the hole?”
— Kathy B. (@Kathryn84738540) July 6, 2023
#6
Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this ain’t my first rodeo.
— Dinah (@dinahaddie) February 19, 2023
#7
Can’t I have to do 6 months worth of flossing before my dentist appointment in an hour.
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) July 6, 2023
#8
I am in Target. I am trying to buy a photo album. I asked where they might be. Worker did not know what a photo album was. I said it was a place to keep pictures. He sent me to the tech aisle. He assumed I wanted memory to store more pictures on my phone. I am 1 billion years old
— Monica Hesse (@MonicaHesse) March 29, 2023
#9
Got a call from my son’s preschool today. I had to go pick him up early because he *checks notes* gave himself a headache dancing too hard in music class.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 28, 2023
#10
6-year-old: I can't go to school. Look at the weather.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 11, 2019
Me: It's a beautiful day.
6: Exactly.
#11
Signs of aging may include irrational anger at someone parked in front of your house
— 𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝘆𝗸𝗲 (@im_all_id) March 10, 2022
#12
My 11yo just screamed across the skatepark “MOM! DID YOU EVER GET OUR HEALTH INSURANCE REINSTATED? I WANNA DO A TRICK!”
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) June 20, 2021
#13
I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 7, 2023
#14
Me, leaving my child home alone: Call me if there’s an emergency.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 10, 2023
My child, calling me 2 minutes later: Do you know where the Oreos are?
#15
“Robots are going to take your job” yeah ok have you ever watched a roomba for even five seconds
— Jamie (@spacej_me) July 6, 2023
#16
you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives
— purple🧚♀️ (@prplexi) July 1, 2023
#17
The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said “who’s the best mommy in the world?” and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said “grandma.”
— Dinah (@dinahaddie) February 5, 2023
#18
7, snuggling against me and inhaling:
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) March 24, 2023
“I didn’t know women could also get B.O. too.”
#19
DO NOT DRINK THE TUDOR MILK I REPEAT DO NOT DRINK THE TUDOR MILK pic.twitter.com/iRpojcsELT
— Stephen Hopkins (@phil_lol_ogist) March 23, 2023
#20
I had a really annoying day. Very frustrated.
— Trey Ferguson (@PastorTrey05) February 7, 2023
My kids knew that.
I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some “daddy, don’t be mad. My toilet is smoking.”
I didn’t listen. I got mad.
This what I see when I walked in. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa
