Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

We let my 5-year-old try a root beer, and after he took a big gulp, he yelled, “Oh my gosh, I can feel myself turning into a man!”

— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) June 12, 2023

Today the 8 year old told me she deliberately spelled a word wrong in the last round of the school spelling bee because “if you lose you get a piece of candy, but if you win you just get a boring medal”

— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) June 14, 2023

I made my kids rhubarb bread and served it to them with fresh farm eggs and blueberries and you would have thought I was serving them a punch to the face

— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) June 15, 2023

Sometimes having a toddler is difficult and sometimes as you’re pushing his stroller past a cluster of startled pigeons he casually says, “Don’t worry, birds, we’re not really giants.”

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) June 11, 2023

This little boy got in my car with the kids and I assumed it was one of their friends. I asked his name and introduced myself. He gets out of the car and my kids say “I don’t know that boy. I guess he just wanted a ride”. 💀💀💀

— Princess (@themultiplemom) June 14, 2023

You might think the important childhood milestones are walking and talking, but they're actually things like "can be left alone for 5 minutes," "can fetch their own snack," and "can puke in a receptacle instead of all over their bed."

— Annie Way (@Anniewritess) June 14, 2023

Legend states that when you’re struggling with the kids and at your absolute breaking point, a stranger will immediately appear to say, ‘you sure look like you have your hands full’ before laughing and walking away

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) June 10, 2023

Nothing makes my child become obsessed with a sport faster than me committing time and money for them to play a completely different sport

— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 14, 2023

The first time my daughter met her Great Aunt she turned to me and moistly whispered “I thought it was weird that you called her great, but I see it now”

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 11, 2023

10yo’s friend came over and loved what I made for dinner, so yes, I do have a favorite child.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 12, 2023

4yo is sobbing bc kindergarten will be harder than prek and first grade will be harder than kindy and on and on and, “Every year of life will just get harder.” And I really have no words of advice for her 🤣

— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) June 12, 2023

3yo: Mommy, can you do a headstand?

Me: It’s been a while, but I think so.

We now know that I absolutely cannot do a headstand. I should be able to move my neck and shoulder again in a few days.

— Twinstant Family | Lisa (@twinstantfamily) June 12, 2023

me: a dozen is 12, but a baker’s dozen is 13.

my 8yo: that makes sense because there’s a kid at my school named Baker who’s bad at counting.

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) June 13, 2023

13-year-old: Why did you order pizza tonight?

Me: I didn't feel like cooking.

13: I love it when you give up.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2023

If you or a loved one were told that “Terrible Twos” are the worst age for kids, you may be entitled to financial compensation.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) June 13, 2023

My 4yo said it’s ok that her shoes are on the wrong feet because she can just cross her legs to make it right

— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) June 14, 2023

While naming your child, keep in mind that you will need to fill out roughly 1 million forms for them over the course of their childhood so it’s best to pick something short

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 14, 2023

4: I don’t want to go to school

Me: you have to, it’s the law. Do you want mommy to go to jail?

4: *thinking really hard*

— Monster Truck Abigail (@themommylode) June 15, 2023

thoughts and prayers for 8 this morning who had to fold 3 whole towels and then carry them up the stairs to the bathroom to put away. he's very distraught and we're unsure if he will recover from this event.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 12, 2023

Well… that's relatable. 🙄😂😄
(source: unknown) pic.twitter.com/jm7JJyDoIj

— Raising Teens Today (@HonestTeenTalk) June 15, 2023