If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
5yo: Does everyone in the world have kids?
— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 18, 2018
Me: No, some people decide they don’t want to have them.
5: I don’t want kids.
Me: Why not?
5: They’re a lot of work.
Me: Then why don’t you be less difficult for me?
5: Well, you decided to have kids.
#2
I asked my 4 year old why he was heading into the garage and he casually replied, "don't worry, dad, I'm just grabbing a hammer." I know I should intervene, but part of me hopes he's going to fix the loose baseboard in the hallway.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 31, 2021
#3
Took my 4-year-old to the grocery store and she snuck her teddy bear on the checkout belt and when the cashier “scanned” it she checked the price that popped up on the register and in perfect deadpan said “this bear is priceless”
— todd dillard (@toddedillard) November 1, 2019
#4
My son told me I’m a mean mommy and I have to shop at the mean mommy store. Do you think it’s Target? I hope it’s Target.
— Mama Needs A Coke (@MamaNeedsACoke) September 21, 2021
#5
sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes i look like a young man in colonial america eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship
— crick (@cricketcg) September 23, 2018
#6
My boyfriend washed dishes and I haven’t said anything about it. He’s said “wow this kitchen looks spotless” twice since 8pm
— mp (@friasmp) November 13, 2022
#7
I’ll never forgive my dad for sending me to AutoZone for blinker fluid
— gas station dream girl (@cheygoulet) August 30, 2024
#8
Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog "NO!" and then more quietly, "We talked about this!"
— Jessie 🦇 (@NicCageMatch) April 10, 2014
#9
Been listening to my wife talk about her work drama and I’m trying to think of the best way to let her know I love her but I think I’m on Denise’s side on this one.
— The Dad (@thedad) October 18, 2022
#10
My mom has a podcast but you can only hear it if you have the password to my voicemail
— Dan Duvall (@DanDuvallComedy) July 17, 2018
#11
there is a guy i see every single time i’m at the gym. morning, night, midday, twice a days, i’m like this is outrageous. today, i’m here & there are two of them. they’re twins lmao it’s all adding up
— Heifer Hotline (@janetheeesq) August 27, 2024
#12
MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS
— Sravan Panuganti, DO, FACOS (@SPuro88) December 5, 2022
#13
Shout out the person at a social event who’s the first to say they’re going home and breaks the seal for the rest of the guests to be like, “Guess we’ll head out too”
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 21, 2021
#14
Uber driver: Sorry, no ingles.
— Jasmine Harkness (@JasmineCie) April 25, 2024
Me: No hay problema. Como estas?
Uber driver: Ma’am, I’m sorry. I just don’t feel like talking.
😂😂😂
#15
i love elevator etiquette. absolutely no expectation to make small talk with other people. everyone just stares at a wall in silence
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) January 15, 2023
#16
I feel like this should go without saying, but don’t buy my child a harmonica.
— Erin De Boer (@erin_de_boer) December 22, 2018
#17
reservations are so embarrassing like hi i’m here for my spaghetti appointment
— slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) September 12, 2022
#18
I didn’t realize there was a wrong way to mow a lawn until I asked my son to do it.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 22, 2024
#19
my daughter made her own jeopardy game but could only think of one topic 😂 pic.twitter.com/KoTOsstqWa
— todd dillard (@toddedillard) August 30, 2024
#20
Bad news: I accidentally washed a nice wool shirt that I really loved and it shrunk a LOT
— Alex Tumay (@alextumay) October 24, 2017
Good news: pic.twitter.com/bPN6uji4ws
