Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
I had a tea party with my 6yo, and told her the pastries were delicious. She said her husband made them. She talked about her 3 kids and how hard it is to be a doctor. I asked how she's able to host tea parties with all that going on. She said she has a supportive husband.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) April 21, 2024
#2
My 6 year old just got back from visiting our elderly neighbor and said, “I told her we’d bring her some fresh baked cookies when they’re ready.” I informed her that we weren’t baking any cookies today and she said, “Oh, I guess we kinda have to now, don’t we?” Diabolical.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 21, 2024
#3
Hello I just picked my son up from school and thought his teacher was moving to hug me but she was going to hug my son and we ended up in a three person hug and she said “oh okay” so I’m gonna go die now
— Melissa (@awkwardenabled) April 22, 2024
#4
Being a mom is humbling bc you get to see all the dopey mannerisms you didn’t know you had copied by someone who’s like 2.5 feet tall
— Kelly (@throeingit) April 25, 2024
#5
My kid said she can’t wait till she’s an adult and can eat chips for dinner, and I’m just happy she has some goals.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) April 26, 2024
#6
People want to look young and sexy, I will settle for “looks like you slept well”.
— Mad Hatter Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) April 24, 2024
#7
Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.
— Terri Paella Piñata (@terrip38) April 21, 2024
#8
Imagine being finished with the laundry.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) April 22, 2024
#9
Lately, my 6yo has been putting on a movie, laying down on the couch, and falling asleep a few minutes into the movie.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) April 25, 2024
He's already nailed being middle aged.
#10
Surely not the same kid who trashed my car for 16 years telling me not to bring trash in her car
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) April 24, 2024
#11
Asked my kid how he wanted me to cut his sandwich, and he said he didn't care, but Reader, it was a trap
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 24, 2024
#12
4 year old: My friend Blaken hurt his arm.
— Darby Stouffer (@DarbyStouffer) April 20, 2024
Me: Oh no! By the way his name is just Blake, not Blaken.
4 year old: /elongated sigh Okay. My friend JustBlake hurt his arm.
#13
Thoughts for my 6yo who is making difficult decisions in the zoo gift shop and muttering to himself “it’s not my last time here, it’s not my last time here”
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 20, 2024
#14
The laundry pile has got so big that me and my daughter have decided to name it. I opted for ‘the pile of doom’, my daughter prefers Gary
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) April 24, 2024
#15
Last night I was lying in my 3yos bed as he was falling asleep and he reached out to me in the dark, put his hand on me and said “ahhhh, big belly, tiny head, that’s my mama”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 20, 2024
#16
I was picking up my daughter from a playdate when the mom asked me if I’d like a drink. “Absolutely,” I said. She disappeared briefly and returned with two bourbons, light rocks. “Maybe they can play a little longer,” I thought as I took a sip. My fellow dads, it was apple juice.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 26, 2024
#17
What doesn't kill you wakes you up at 5 am asking for cereal and Bluey
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) April 24, 2024
#18
The other day in Costas, my 10 yr old ruined her straw so I went to get her another. She then proceeded to do the same things that she did with the last one. Losing my patience I told her to stop doing that as that was the last straw.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) April 26, 2024
#19
“Sharing is caring,” my 3 year old says as he takes my last cookie.
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) April 22, 2024
#20
Got flagged by airport security because my son had a Magic 8 Ball in his backpack. Two TSA agents debated whether it was ok. My husband said, “If only we had a simple way to answer a yes or no question…” Crickets.
— J. Courtney Sullivan (@jcourtsull) April 20, 2024
