25 Hilarious Tweets Every Chocolate Lover Will Relate To

According to Merriam-Webster, a chocoholic is “a person who craves or compulsively consumes chocolate”, which, come to think of it, pretty aptly describes me and a LOT of other people I know!

I’ve rounded up the funniest tweets that I think every chocolate lover will understand.

Enjoy!

Janene

#1

Last night I hung my coat, which had a chocolate bar in the pocket, on the back of my bedroom door which is opposite my bed and all night I had different versions of the same dream which was me getting up to eat the chocolate bar
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) November 13, 2024

#2

my husband is looking at jobs and this one through a hiring firm is "withholding the name of the company" for some reason but wants someone familiar with "chocolate technology" who is willing to move to Hershey, PA lmao
— 🍂 stick 🍂 (@briggityboppity) July 2, 2025

#3

Chocolate chip cookies should be free for anybody that’s in a bad mood.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) January 31, 2025

#4

You know those people who are like “yeah I love to eat a square or two of dark chocolate as a treat” is that real or a bit
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) September 27, 2025

#5

6yo asked for a treat, and I said “we’re out. We’ll get some at the store tomorrow” and she said “no we’re not! Mom has chocolate behind the washing machine” and I kid you not, my wife’s soul fell from her body because somehow the kids found her private stash of Lindor truffles.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) October 17, 2020

#6 But why do the holiday ones always taste better?

The four seasons:

Pumpkin Reese’s
Christmas Tree Reese’s
Easter Egg Reese’s
Regular Reese’s
— Scarlett Longstreet (@ScarlettPosner) November 19, 2020

#7

We had 7 chocolates and 3 kids, so I ate 4 cause I am a problem solver.
— Maddy ☃️❄️ (@MadHatterMommy) June 17, 2022

#8

u should be able to order a chocolate chip cookie medium rare
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) April 25, 2022

#9

4-year-old: Why can't I have chocolate milk?

Me: You don't need more chocolate.

4: Everybody needs more chocolate.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 16, 2019

#10

Husband: It’s so weird that the kids didn’t get any Twix or Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups for Halloween.

Me: *wipes the chocolate from my mouth* So weird.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) November 1, 2022

#11

Wife – You ate all of the Reeses eggs?
Me – You left them out in the open on the top shelf under the shirts in the back of the closet.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) April 14, 2017

#12

They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
— RC deWinter (@RCdeWinter) September 13, 2021

#13

"Mommy, we should make a fort out of chocolate."

Me: "I'm listening."
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) October 27, 2017

#14

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month.

Sorry, bad punctuation.

I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) November 10, 2020

#15

“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” ok you’ve obviously never had a chocolate croissant
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 1, 2022

#16

Found a stash of chocolate in my daughter’s drawer, it’s beautiful to see traditions get passed from one generation to the next
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 25, 2022

#17

made hot chocolate for my 5 year old and she was like “it’s like a warm cozy blanket for inside my body!” in case anyone’s looking for a 5 year old copywriter
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 17, 2023

#18

Salad is being recalled. Do you know what's never been recalled? Oreos.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) April 26, 2018

#19

It’s funny how my 19 and 21 year old children, rightfully, want me to treat them like adults but both still fully expect me to buy them a chocolate advent calendar each.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 11, 2024

#20

My friends: This year we had our second child!

Me: This year I learned how many Reese’s cups I can eat in a single sitting before they start tasting weird
— Alex Hirsch (@_AlexHirsch) November 26, 2021

#21

A child: what’s that?

Me holding an oreo milkshake: it’s spicy you won’t like it.
— 𝓍𝑜𝓍𝑜 (@Rlawsonnnn) October 9, 2020

#22

Day 12 -without chocolate.
I just lost hearing in my left eye.
— ⊹٭𝚆𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚔٭⊹ (@metickleu) July 16, 2020

#23

I like to eat chocolate from out of the fridge. What I mean by that is I eat half a chocolate bar and put the rest in the fridge for the next day. Then less than 1/2 a second later, I take it out again and eat the rest.
— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) June 25, 2024

#24

I do unfortunately believe that if I can’t have a bit of chocolate every day I might as well be dead
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) January 15, 2024

25 Hilarious Tweets Every Chocolate Lover Will Relate To

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6 But why do the holiday ones always taste better?

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25 I wonder if he ever found out??

Got a minute to stick around? Check out: “20 Hilarious Tweets About Kids Trying to Get Away With Mischief”

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6 But why do the holiday ones always taste better?

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25 I wonder if he ever found out??

Got a minute to stick around? Check out: “20 Hilarious Tweets About Kids Trying to Get Away With Mischief”

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