It’s World Chocolate Day…who’s ready to celebrate?? I’ve rounded up the funniest tweets that I think every chocolate lover will understand.
Enjoy!
Janene
#1
There are so many things you can do with white chocolate — bake with it, eat it plain, throw it away because it’s disgusting and isn’t actually chocolate.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 6, 2023
#2
u should be able to order a chocolate chip cookie medium rare
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) April 25, 2022
#3
We had 7 chocolates and 3 kids, so I ate 4 cause I am a problem solver.
— Mad Hatter Mommy!!! (@MadHatterMommy) June 17, 2022
#4
one door closes another opens
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 4, 2015
one door closes another opens
one door closes another opens
– me eating through a chocolate advent calendar
#5
4-year-old: Why can't I have chocolate milk?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 16, 2019
Me: You don't need more chocolate.
4: Everybody needs more chocolate.
#6
Husband: It’s so weird that the kids didn’t get any Twix or Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups for Halloween.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) November 1, 2022
Me: *wipes the chocolate from my mouth* So weird.
#7
Wife – You ate all of the Reeses eggs?
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) April 14, 2017
Me – You left them out in the open on the top shelf under the shirts in the back of the closet.
#8
Make your oatmeal raisin cookies better by using the recipe for chocolate chip cookies.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 11, 2019
#9
They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the math. Seems I died in 1543.
— RC deWinter (@RCdeWinter) September 13, 2021
#10
7: I want to run a chocolate factory some day!
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) June 3, 2021
Me: I will support this dream. With my money. Immediately.
#11
"Mommy, we should make a fort out of chocolate."
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) October 27, 2017
Me: "I'm listening."
#12
I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month.
— Momsense Ensues (@momsense_ensues) November 10, 2020
Sorry, bad punctuation.
I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
#13
Hear me out. Not an ice cream truck but a PMS truck that has chips, chocolate and wine.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) July 7, 2022
#14
“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” ok you’ve obviously never had a chocolate croissant
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 1, 2022
#15
for mothers day i would love to be left in bed with a bag of reeses cups and the remote
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 5, 2022
#16
9-year-old: Is chocolate dangerous?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 12, 2019
Me: If you give it to dogs.
Wife: Or if you don't give it to me.
#17
but have you tried eating more reeses cups?
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 22, 2021
-me as a therapist
#18
6yo asked for a treat, and I said “we’re out. We’ll get some at the store tomorrow” and she said “no we’re not! Mom has chocolate behind the washing machine” and I kid you not, my wife’s soul fell from her body because somehow the kids found her private stash of Lindor truffles.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) October 17, 2020
#19
My friends: This year we had our second child!
— Alex Hirsch (@_AlexHirsch) November 26, 2021
Me: This year I learned how many Reese’s cups I can eat in a single sitting before they start tasting weird
#20
Day 12 -without chocolate.
— ⊹٭𝚆𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚔٭⊹ (@metickleu) July 16, 2020
I just lost hearing in my left eye.
#21
there are five seasons: reese's pumpkin season, reese's christmas tree season, reese's heart season, reese's egg season, and the long loneliness
— it’s me hi I’m the trolley problem it’s me (@DearSplenda) April 18, 2022
