Caught in the Act: 21 Hilarious Tweets About Kids Trying to Get Away With Mischief

Points for creativity to my 7yo who got caught sneaking cookies and tried to convince me she was sleepwalking, at 3pm.

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 23, 2022

My 8yo just tried to convince me that there's sugar all over his mouth because he tripped and landed on a donut.

— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) April 16, 2014

Me: Did you brush your hair?

8-year-old: Yes.

Me: Can I check?

8: I'm too busy wearing this hood.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2023

My 5yo is trying to convince me that he’ll get his fruit intake for the day from Froot Loops

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) September 27, 2022

My 3 year old tried to convince me that he injured his knee and it needed popcorn.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) December 11, 2017

I made my bed and found a half eaten stick of butter in it. When I asked my child if she put anything in mommy’s bed, she said “I did not put butter in it.” The mystery continues. More at 11.

— LL Cool Tweet (@LLcoooltweet) June 7, 2022

5 is trying to convince me that the ice cream sandwich he ate counts as lunch since it’s a sandwich.

— Mama Bird (@Mamabird1519) July 9, 2022

6yo (to her crying brother): "It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad."
Me: "Oh darling, that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?"
6yo: "I hit him."#mumlife

— Ellie Hawkes (@elspells13) August 23, 2021

Dubious claims my toddler made this week:
– he invented the thumbs up
– only *some* lizards can read
– he forgot how to eat carrots
– his daycare allows swords

How about your kid?

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 10, 2019

My 3-year-old telling me she didn’t flush any toys down the toilet is not as reassuring as she thinks it is.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 4, 2023

6YO: Can I eat a cookie?

Me: Finish your dinner first

6YO: My stomach is full except for a circle shaped space

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 2, 2021

My daughter passed me a note in her handwriting that said buy cupcakes and told me daddy left this for you and I looked her right in the eye and said I like your style kid.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 5, 2023

Me: Who made this mess?

8-year-old: Not me.

6-year-old: Not me.

4-year-old: Not me.

3-year-old: A horse. I saw it.

I have a suspect.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 5, 2019

My toddler just spent five minutes explaining that he can't use his imagination because he traded it to a kid at daycare for some fruit snacks. Ok, bro.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 11, 2019

Last night, I hid the Oreos under my son's folded clothes in a basket and asked him to put it away… which he SWEARS he did.

Now he's standing in front of the pantry freaking out that the Oreos are gone. Who wants to tell him?

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) April 7, 2023

So, apparently we have another kid roaming around the house somewhere. If the information I’ve gathered from my other children is correct, this mystery child is named “not me” and is responsible for literally everything that happens around here.

— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) January 19, 2022

The most “Shawshank Redemption” story you’ll hear today:
My younger son tries to sneak sugar packets out of restaurants and eat them in the car. We’ve taken to checking his pockets, so he stuffed five of them in a hollowed-out breadstick. pic.twitter.com/F81jQuvW7g

— Peter Hartlaub (@peterhartlaub) August 21, 2018

She tried to steal the baby goat by running to the car with it exactly 5 seconds after this photo. pic.twitter.com/tXuHfGCAwI

— Lucy Small (@lucyleid) February 27, 2021

Told my kids I couldn’t find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, “maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed” which is a suspiciously specific theory.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 27, 2023