20 Hilariously Relatable Tweets For Some Midweek Laughs

Generational humor

Apparently a Gen Z friend-of-a-friend of my husband went to the bank and they asked for his "social," and he gave his Instagram handle. 🤣

— Dr. Amy, Psy.D. (@DrAmyPsyD) June 15, 2023

“Oh. Wow. Oh. Jeez. We didn’t think everyone was gonna bring a bag!” -airlines

— Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) May 10, 2024

I don't mean to brag, but I scored a parenting hat trick this morning…

… I made my teen sigh, roll her eyes and leave the room because I looked at her and smiled.

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) March 14, 2023

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a talker.

— Harris (@GrandpaHarris65) February 19, 2024

Coming out of my driveway earlier as the postman walked past.

Postman: Are you 34?

Me: [slightly confused but flattered] 34? I’ve actually just turned 47!

Postman: I mean do you live at number 34. I have a parcel.

Now obviously I have to sell my house and move very far away.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 2, 2023

Me: How was school?

12-year-old: A kid laughed so hard soda came out his nose.

Me: I meant did you learn anything.

12: I learned soda can come out someone's nose.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 15, 2022

I’m at the produce market and the smallest italian greyhound I have ever seen just snatched the remaining third of my croissant and the owner hissed AUDREY and they both ran away

— specific timid homer (@marrowing) June 3, 2023

man i just do not know how to act around warm bread

— rax ‘leads with her crotch’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) June 16, 2023

Me, looking for my phone: *calls it 5 times*

Me, finding my phone: Wow! I have 5 missed calls.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 9, 2023

Me to anyone else: "it's in that cabinet"

Me to my husband:
"it's in the upper cabinet next to the fridge on the left at eye level. It's bright green. It's right there. IT'S RIGHT THERE"

— Marl (@Marlebean) May 25, 2023

Just watched a woman pull back into her spot at Costco bc the dude waiting for her honked for her to hurry up. I feel so blessed to have witnessed

— motorized pistachio (@sportsbroad) June 4, 2023

My son asked me if I could draw a dinosaur for him, so I did, and then he looked at it and very quietly said “ok I guess not”.

— The Dad (@thedad) March 6, 2023

Board game boxes should have a consistent size and shape for storage and display. What we have now is total chaos.

— Adam (@YSylon) January 9, 2024

I just had a second grader do an impression of his dad, which included the statement, “I was born in 1990 and I had to grow up watching black and white tv because color tv wasn’t invented yet.”

Sir. 😑

— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) May 18, 2023

Ok so we taught the 1 y/o to say “All done” when he’s finished eating. He is also using it to tell people when he is over hanging out with them, and that’s how I’m going to start using it, too.

— Adam (@YSylon) March 12, 2024

We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didn’t get bored

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) February 22, 2023

My son wrote an essay about how much he hates mayonnaise, and it begins, "As a scribe I see fit to write down all my troubles" and ends "I fell to the ground and moaned for the next few hours, lying in the moonlight wishing to die."

— Bronwen Tate (@bronwentate) December 16, 2022

My 5 year old was pretending to leave for work, rode his bike to the end of the driveway and back and said he made $100 so my question is what is this job and where can I find one

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 2, 2023

My sister has an original eames chair and this is how she uses it pic.twitter.com/2I26IZAznF

— tara (@proletarat) June 3, 2023

me every single time i’m in a store pic.twitter.com/CjHi2LP5zZ

— clare (@sadderlizards) April 24, 2024