20 of the Best Tweets From Women This Week

middle names are so funny. it’s like ok what if we gave this baby a second worse name that’s a little bit of a secret ?? and it kind of has to be marie

— chase (@_chase_____) June 21, 2023

y’all talk out loud to your pets or what

— ugh (@ughfinewhatever) June 22, 2023

sitcoms would be a lot more believable if they had 5 loads of laundry waiting to be folded on the sofa

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) June 19, 2023

Today, I woke up early for a vet appointment to have a lump on my dog’s belly checked out, and it ended up being a nipple. TGIF.

— Tiffany Hardy (@TiffMHardy) June 23, 2023

But have you tried eating everything in the house as a way of coping?
– Me as a therapist

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) June 20, 2023

If you are coming over, you must fold one load of laundry at the door before entering.

— Mieka (@a_crafty_name) June 23, 2023

I am ‘can leave house without a phone but not without tweezers’ years old

— Dx: Moonstruck (@moonstruckinnyc) June 23, 2023

My dad is legit mad that he “can’t get anyone from Netflix on the phone”

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) June 21, 2023

there is something so beautifully restorative about a delicious sandwich. my god. whoever invented sandwiches let it be known i’d marry you on the spot

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) June 20, 2023

I think I would feel more motivated today if a tiny applause track played every time I crossed something off my to do list.

— Marly (@VerbsRProudest) June 22, 2023

Always start phone conversations with 'my phone is about to die' so you can hang up whenever you want.

— dire wolf 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ (@ADDiane) June 22, 2023

If these walls could talk, they’d remind me why I walked into this room.

— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) June 20, 2023

I’m a grown adult & just gasped because I saw a golden retriever puppy in the lobby of the hotel

— Ladybird (@InKairos) June 20, 2023

A balancing act but it's just me trying to put on my underwear while standing up

— Red Riding Hood (@RiderofWolves) June 23, 2023

Some personal news, I've ordered special fruit storage containers and the level of excitement I'm feeling is concerning honestly I've never felt more like an adult

— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) June 23, 2023

If anyone needs to reach me I’ll be at my summer home. Which also happens to be my spring, fall and winter home

— eLeni (@eleniZarro) June 22, 2023

one time i was in central park and overheard a man saying he got reprimanded in an online birdwatching group for posting too common of a bird

— chase (@_chase_____) June 17, 2023

When they’re together, my dog always leaves the last bite of his food for his best dog friend to eat, and I don’t know if I love anyone that much

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 20, 2023

It’s a good job we keep the instruction booklet for every appliance we’ve ever bought so we never look at them again.

— Laura is never ready (@ericamorecambe) June 22, 2023

“Quick and easy meal for when you’re feeling lazy!”

Then they chop an onion. Please man.

— Malowé (@pmxlxisane) June 22, 2023