Happy National Pet Day!
I’ve rounded up some of the funniest tweets about life with dogs and cats that I thought were all too relatable.
Janene
#1
Me asleep with an imperceptible nose whistle, wife makes me go to the guest room.
— Bart (@bartandsoul) August 17, 2019
The dog snores, farts, growls, and drools on the pillow, wife makes him the little spoon.
#2
No one:
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) April 19, 2024
My cat at 4:12 am: These curtains are stupid, I’m taking them down
#3
My husband: I don’t want a dog. We don’t need a dog. We don’t have time for one.
— Lindsey Boylan is on bluesky (@LindseyBoylan) February 12, 2023
My husband 2 years later: I read an article about dog emotional well-being & we should stop saying goodbye when we leave because Truffle will be more sad. We don’t want her to worry when we’re out.
#4
I know so many people with cats and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat.
— Dr. Laura Robinson (@LauraRbnsn) June 6, 2024
Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that's like "yeah he just moved in."
#5
my pug has 4 beds and takes medicine for his seasonal allergies just like his wolf ancestors
— kim (@KimmyMonte) December 2, 2023
#6
cat owners will be covered in scratches and scars and just be like these are little love marks from my handsome boy 😊 his name is pillow he's such a little man 🙂
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) September 19, 2020
#7
every pet owner has a foundational nickname from which 58 other names ripple outwards. the sourdough starter name
— slim riggins (@rigginsslim) May 21, 2024
#8
3-year-old: We need a kitty cat.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 19, 2017
Me: Why?
3-year-old: Because then we’ll have a kitty cat.
She makes a powerful argument.
#9
My dog, who does not pay rent or bills and is, himself, a bill, has sighed three times in the past five minutes.
— Victoria M. Walker (@vikkie) April 12, 2022
#10
what kills me about long haired dachshunds is that u can tell they want to be taken seriously
— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) November 17, 2023
#11
Y’all, this woman’s neighbor’s cat got her cat pregnant and so now she randomly gets drop offs of cat food with the words “Child Support” tape to the bag.
— ✨Kei$ha✨ (@GlamazonJay) May 3, 2024
#12
imagine you wake up every day in room-sized bed. you are gently lifted from the covers and dressed in warmest sweaters each morning. your favourite foods are brought to you. you have no bills, no job, no responsibilities. but you are a chihuahua, so you are blind with rage.
— Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) October 27, 2024
#13
wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) September 14, 2019
me: They’re for the dogs
wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
me: They don’t know how
#14
my husband, who did not grow up with dogs, just came to me very worried because the dog is not eating her food, but is begging for his, so "something must be wrong with her food, she's clearly hungry but only wants mine"
— madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay) May 16, 2023
#15
Me: Do you need to go outside?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 2, 2023
Dog:
Me: Outside?
Dog:
Me: Do you need to pee?
Dog:
Me: Go poop? Go outside?
Dog:
Me: Ugh. Fine.
Dog:
Me: [gets coffee and gets comfy on couch]
Dog: You won’t believe this.
#16
40% of my wife and I's conversations go like this:
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2022
me: what?
wife: i was talking to the dog
#17
nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) August 27, 2024
#18
Science: Domesticated dogs are most closely related to gray wolves.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 24, 2019
My dog: There’s no way I’m walking on wet grass.
#19
you spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them "for god's sake" and "please stop"
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) September 12, 2024
#20
“You let your pets sleep with you?”
— Beth Booker (@itsbethbooker) August 13, 2024
Sir, I would let my animals represent me in a court of law.
#21
Accidentally stepping on my husband's foot: "Sorry."
— I Might Be Funny (@imightbefunny1) September 26, 2022
Accidentally stepping on my dog's paw:
"Oh my God, I'm SO SORRY! Are you ok buddy?
I'm SO SO sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I LOVE you so much. You want a treat? You're the best boy, yes you are."
#22
For a split second I thought something had gone terribly, biblically wrong with my cat pic.twitter.com/YQWONLs0hm
— Eli Keren (@EliArieh) August 26, 2022
#23
#24
#25
