Top 20 Funny and Wholesome Tweets From “Thoughts of Dog”

sometimes. the human presses their noggin against mine. to figure out what i’m thinking. so i just think really hard. about how much i love them. and hope they figure it out

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 13, 2018

i like to leave as much of my hair. around the house as possible. it is my confetti. i am a party

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 5, 2019

i worked. so. hard. to get the squeaker out of that toy. and you just. threw it away

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 15, 2020

i may have gotten bigger. but my desire to be held. has remained constant

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 10, 2019

THE HUMAN JUST GRABBED THEIR KEYS. AND MY LEASH. THEY ARE PUTTING ON. THEIR OUTSIDE FEET. I DO BELIEVE. IT IS ADVENTURE TIME

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) January 23, 2022

surround yourself. with those who would flip your ear back for you. if it ever went inside out

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) May 17, 2020

occasionally. the freezer will provide crunch water. this is way better than regular water. because of the crunch

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) March 31, 2019

i was told. whenever a square car with sirens passes by. they are on their way to help. so i always howl along. to let everyone know. i’m helping too

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 9, 2019

there was a sandwich. on the edge of the counter. and now there isn’t. those are all the details. we can confirm so far. the piece of lettuce on my nose. is purely circumstantial

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) February 10, 2019

the human only brought one little bag. on our walk. so naturally. i had to poop twice. they are in shambles

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) January 17, 2023

they are making a new sidewalk. in our neighborhood. and today. all the workers waved me over. and i got to put my little paw. in the wet cement. they said it would be there forever. and many years from now. someone would wonder. who that good dog was

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) December 5, 2022

do not rush me. on our walks. these sniffs are like my social media. and i’m scrollin

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) October 28, 2022

just a heads up. i will be running around the house. as fast as possible. for the next 15 seconds. i will have no regard for furniture. or any individuals in my way. when i am done. do not ask me why i have done this. because i do not know

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) March 2, 2021

the human wiped away my eye booger. only to pet it back onto me. i have never experienced such betrayal

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 10, 2020

occasionally during our walks. someone will pass us. and completely ignore my human. but whisper hello to me. i really enjoy this

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) October 27, 2019

we were at the store today. and i found a stuffed penguin that i really fancied. i tried to carry it out. but was stopped before the exit. i am not a criminal. i just have no money

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) May 8, 2019

the human had another video call today. but this time. they put me in front of the screen. gave me their headset. and walked away. it may have been a joke to them. but this is exactly the promotion. i have been waiting for

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) August 20, 2020

the human is hosting a get together this evening. and i am told there will be snacks. so my goal. will be to convince every single guest. that i have not eaten. in several weeks

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) June 16, 2018

we went to a new park today. and right at the entrance. was a big bucket of tennis balls with a little sign. that the human said was there in memory of a very good dog. who really liked tennis balls. and that i could play with one. to help that very good dog be remembered

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) May 30, 2023

the best thing i did. this entire decade. was love you

— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) January 1, 2020