Dogs give us many things: unconditional love, undying loyalty, and a whole lot of funny material to share with others.
I’ve rounded up the funniest, most relatable tweets for National Dog Day…hope these bring you some laughs!
Janene
#1
People don’t let their pets on their furniture. Meanwhile, my dog is the executor of my will.
— Missy Baker (@TheMissyBaker) July 29, 2024
#2
Science: Domesticated dogs are most closely related to gray wolves.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 24, 2019
My dog: There’s no way I’m walking on wet grass.
#3
I have to show my hands like a blackjack dealer to prove to my dogs that I don’t have any food
— Midge (@mxmclain) August 12, 2024
#4
My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. I reminded her we have a dog and wow the genuine surprise on her face as it dawned on her that our dog is a pet and not just some other guy who lives here.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) February 7, 2023
#5
90% of dog ownership is telling your dog you’re not letting them out because you just let them out and then letting them out
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 16, 2022
#6
My husband just asked me in the kindest voice if I wanted some water, and I said, "You know, I'd love some water?" And I turned around and he was carrying the dog's water bowl to her….(Reader, he was not asking me if I wanted water.)
— Ada Limón (@adalimon) August 9, 2022
#7
2000+ years ago a baby was born in Bethlehem and now my dog celebrates the first 24 days of December with a dog treat calendar.
— Dave Jorgenson (not JD Vance) (@davejorgenson) December 3, 2022
#8
40% of my wife and I's conversations go like this:
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 4, 2022
me: what?
wife: i was talking to the dog
#9
Petition to stop ringing the doorbell on TV so my dog can lead a less confusing life
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 23, 2022
#10
My 7yo had to measure something for her homework. My husband told her to measure our dog. My 7yo, "it said to measure an object. He's not an object! He's a person!"
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 6, 2022
#11
the human is upset. that a piece of my hair. was in their food. that is called a garnish. there is no need to make a scene
— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) October 25, 2022
#12
Just met 4 dachshunds in the park called Gary, Steve, Kevin and Dave, and my day improved by approximately 659%
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 12, 2024
#13
the fun part of pet ownership is that every now and then they'll start acting funny and the cure will either be that they need to take a dump or have a $3000 surgery and you just get to guess which one you're dealing with
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) October 20, 2022
#14
I just ordered four chicken nuggets for my dog at the Wendy's drive-thru. When I pulled up to the window there were six employees standing there waiting to watch me feed the nuggets to the dog. They refused to take my money.
— Becky (@beckymew) July 14, 2022
#15
My favorite thing is when I stay up too late and my dog passive aggressively puts herself to bed without me, like “YOU do what you want but SOME us have work in the morning.”
— Ayana Gray (Updates) (@AyanaGray) April 16, 2022
#16
My dog, who does not pay rent or bills and is, himself, a bill, has sighed three times in the past five minutes.
— Victoria M. Walker (@vikkie) April 12, 2022
#17
Until you have a dog you don't understand what could be eaten.
— Bunsen, BEAKER, and Bernoulli (@bunsenbernerbmd) September 20, 2022
#18
I can’t pick up my dogs prescription because I can’t remember her date of birth. They won’t tell me it because patient privacy. She’s a dog. She won’t tell me it either.
— EMS💀 (@Turbo81) October 8, 2022
#19
My husband let the dog outside, watched out the window to make sure he was out of ear range then turned to me and whispered “I got him a new chew rope for Christmas.”
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) December 1, 2022
I hope to one day find someone who loves me as much as my husband loves the dog.
#20
apparently our dog has slowly cut a hole in our bedroom window shawshank style while we are out and has been letting herself out on the roof and just makes sure she’s back downstairs in her bed by the time we get home. only found out because our neighbor snapped this picture. pic.twitter.com/V1isknHXLa
— elan kiderman ullendorff (@at_elan) September 4, 2022
#21
Within 2 seconds of opening the fridge 😂 pic.twitter.com/UehGZbJrvm
— Dinomite🦖🧨 (@dinogodwhale) May 5, 2022
#22
love it when my dog does a big yawn at 5pm, I just know he put in a long day at the good boy factory
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 27, 2023
#23 His expression is priceless…
This is Jetty. He never wants to hear you complain about his barking again. 13/10 pic.twitter.com/6n7Jh45Dsu
— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) December 1, 2022
#24
just learned that they put your last name on a pet’s prescription which means there are pharmacists out there who went to school for years just to dispense Zoloft to a Meatball Williams
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) April 15, 2024
#25 Oh, Winston, I feel you buddy! Don’t miss the Top 15 Best Tweets From the Hilarious “We Rate Dogs”
This is Winston. He went for his first-ever walk today. Also took his first-ever mid-walk nap today. 12/10 huge day all around pic.twitter.com/W4Mk7A0P5e
— WeRateDogs (@dog_rates) August 23, 2022
