Top 15 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

I am in Target. I am trying to buy a photo album. I asked where they might be. Worker did not know what a photo album was. I said it was a place to keep pictures. He sent me to the tech aisle. He assumed I wanted memory to store more pictures on my phone. I am 1 billion years old

— Monica Hesse (@MonicaHesse) March 29, 2023

I always think my feelings are SO COMPLICATED but then Spring happens and I’m like oh no wait I’m fine

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 27, 2023

Got a call from my son’s preschool today. I had to go pick him up early because he *checks notes* gave himself a headache dancing too hard in music class.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 28, 2023

7yo: “What's a baby shower?"
Me: "It's when you shower a baby with gifts."
7: (beat) "You throw gifts at the baby?"

— nika (@nikalamity) March 28, 2023

Really though, why does a restaurant salad taste better than a salad I make at home? How are they doing “bowl of lettuce” better than me?

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 26, 2023

One of my bucket list items is to make it through a self-checkout without needing an employee to type in some override.

— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 25, 2023

My son argued with me for 2 hours that Apple Jacks tasted the same as Froot Loops. We ended up in the grocery store parking lot with two open cereal boxes getting a lot of strange looks as I screamed “you owe me an apology”

— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) March 25, 2023

In case anyone is wondering whether or not to have a child: My son noticed it’s raining, sighed and said “Maybe today we could just watch the baking show and eat a lot of different crackers.”

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) March 25, 2023

Adulting involves using the phone’s flashlight a lot more than I had anticipated

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 25, 2023

I don’t have a favorite child but if you were to go by the photos on my phone it’s the dog.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 26, 2023

I let my kid stir the pancake batter and now he keeps asking for the whisk-y, going to have a lot of explaining to do at preschool

— meghan (@deloisivete) March 27, 2023

overheard 13 bragging to his friend that he's an adult now and he can download and do whatever he wants on his phone and his parents can't do anything about it. So i went on my phone into our family app and locked him out of his cell phone. try me again bruh.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) March 29, 2023

Well well well, if it isn’t the “Mom, can I spend the night at my friend’s house after prom” trick.

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) March 30, 2023

My toddler was babbling a mile a minute first thing this morning and my 4yo said, ‘I’m going to need pancakes if I’m going to listen to you,’ so he’s my stress management coach now.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) March 29, 2023

Me at 14, babysitting and putting three children and a baby to bed effortlessly by 7pm so I can watch TGIF: “Good night everyone!”

Me at 35 and my husband, simply
trying to put my own two children to bed by 9pm so we can finally sleep: “Well, this is impossible.”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 1, 2023