Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from parents!
Here are some of the ones that made me laugh this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
What I used to say to my mom at 15: YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING! ALL MY FRIENDS STAY OUT AT CLUBS TILL 3AM IN THE CITY ON A WEDNESDAY AND NO ONE ELSE HAS A CURFEW!!!
— Karol Markowicz (@karol) March 21, 2025
What my 15yo says to me: I think I want to become an overnight oats person.
#2
My 4 year old told me he saw his “girlfriend” at the kids gym and I’m like oh aww how cute who is she and he goes “oh she works there”
— Cartoons Hate Her! (@CartoonsHateHer) March 17, 2025
#3
Having small children is such a delight. My son just counted to 30 and then asked, “Are there any MORE numbers?” Like oh buddy are there ever
— Kelly (@throeingit) March 17, 2025
#4
Thanks to my kids for waking me up at 5am by screaming happy birthday into my face 😵💫😵💫 Don't even need to open my presents as the four year old told me what they were yesterday. Truly blessed. 😍
— Lee Braganza (@LeeBraganza) March 22, 2025
#5
You know you're a mom of a boy when you see a random stick and think "That's a good stick".
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) March 17, 2025
#6
We are so trained to play fetch with our dog that our baby just handed my husband a toy and he chucked it across the room.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) March 18, 2025
#7
me: oh look at that cute little old man waving at us
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) March 19, 2025
my wife: that's Gary from high school
#8
Me: [puting on socks]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 18, 2025
My Apple Watch: Would you like to record this workout?
#9
I can’t describe the joy it brings me when a neighborhood kid knocks on the door and asks my kid to play then says “your house is boring, let’s go to mine.”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 20, 2025
#10
Kids no longer have to lug around text books, and instead of enjoying this luxury, they all decided to carry around 60 lbs of water everywhere they go instead.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 21, 2025
#11
It's amazing that boys learn to open cabinets at 8 months old and then learn to close them at haha jk they never learn that.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) March 20, 2025
#12
Me: “How was pickleball, who won?”
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) March 19, 2025
My mom: “We didn’t keep score”
My son, 9: “Me”
#13
When my daughter cuddles with me she likes to rest her head on my arm because "it's softer than a pillow," in case you're feeling bad about your physique today.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 21, 2025
#14
my 10yo just dropped his chili dog then slipped and fell on it if you're wondering if parenting is for you
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) March 16, 2025
#15
Expressions that take on a more literal meaning after having kids:
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 21, 2025
– let the cat out of the bag
– that's the last straw
– I see the writing on the wall
– let your sister off the hook
– don't bury your head in the sand
Parents, share some of yours in the replies!
#16
I have discovered the downside of being married to a dermatologist and it was just now when someone asked me if my husband was my nephew.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) March 18, 2025
#17
Sign #2135 I'm raising little lawyers
— Michael Vogel (@MichaelVogel1) March 22, 2025
Me: (trying to get my 11yo to clean his room) get that pile of stuff off your floor!
11yo: (picks up pile of stuff and puts it on top of another object that's on the floor)
Me: That's not what…
11yo: IT'S OFF THE FLOOR!!
#18
If my kids knew there was a light in the attic, they would leave that one on too.
— Ousa Medusa (@MedusaOusa) March 22, 2025
#19
My child forgot the word fog so she just said “ground clouds,” so now I’ll never be able to call it anything else
— who cares (@DianaG2772) March 22, 2025
#20
Have kids so you can google every single lizard fact at bedtime
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 20, 2025
