25 of the Best Quips From Women This Week

Another week and and another round of funny and relatable quips from women.

Hope these bring some smiles to your day!

Janene

#1

Why am I just learning about the smallest town in the U.S.—Monowi, Nebraska, and how its population is only 1 person, Elsie Eiler. She runs the entire town by herself, and the town only has 3 buildings: her home, a restaurant and a library. I’m so intrigued and want to go 😭
— Zhané Love 🫧 (@thezhanelove) March 26, 2025

#2

It's wild how many grown adults complain about being in debt. Like, it's not hard. I have zero debt in my early 30s, all because I've worked since I was 16, I don't spend money on things I don't need, and my great great grandfather invented doors.
— Ꮍᴀᴇʟ (@elle91) March 26, 2024

#3

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3pm & sit down the rest of the day
— KayyKayy (@Marie_rossee) March 28, 2025

#4

Please don’t say disrespectful things to me like “We stopped serving breakfast at 11”
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 6, 2025

#5

How many chips can you add to a salad before it turns into nachos, asking for a friend
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 26, 2025

#6

Website I have not visited in many months, have possibly never visited at all: You've read your last free article.
— emmylou diamond phillips (@thamosdeaf) March 25, 2025

#7

One day, I will go to Costco and remember where I parked my car. Today was not that day.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) March 26, 2025

#8

Well, today I panicked about my hair being in my face and couldn’t find a hair-tie and finally found one hours later on my wrist.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) March 27, 2025

#9

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It's in a banana but it's also the sun? sure.
— ♡ (@mchinegirl) March 25, 2025

#10

Maybe I meant to hit that curb, you don’t know
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) March 26, 2025

#11

I love when my phone battery is at 1% and still asks if I want to enable low power mode.

No, I want you to fight for your life.
— swapna (@nairs40) March 23, 2025

#12

Really hate when you’re in a bad mood and take a walk outside and realize all the healthy people are right
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 22, 2025

#13

Life hack: if you don’t make plans you don’t have to do stuff.
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) March 23, 2025

#14

airport terminals should have little balconies where you can go sit outside and experience the local climate
— Maizie ⭐️ (@maizie_star) March 26, 2025

#15

I’ll just get gas in the morning ~ Me making a horrible mistake
— Kristen (@Kica333) March 26, 2025

#16

I just put the last cookie back to save for later. I give it ten minutes.
— AbbyDabbyDuh (@DearAuntAbby) March 28, 2025

#17

Have you ever caught a glimpse of yourself in a self checkout camera at the store and it ruined your day a little bit?
— Kristen (@Kica333) March 25, 2025

#18

Are we all seeing the size of blueberries these days
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) March 27, 2025

#19

I’d like to wish a very happy 7th birthday to the jar of salsa in my fridge
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 25, 2025

#20

I just doordashed 12 nuggets and a chocolate milkshake at 9:19 pm if anyone was curious where I was on my mental health journey.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 26, 2025

#21

If you have to explain the parking situation to me in more than one sentence, I’m not coming.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) March 27, 2025

#22

Gonna wait for you to finish your 10,000 word serious reply to my joke before I hit block
— andy vs. (@im-all-id.me) March 25, 2025 at 8:14 AM

#23

My therapist and I saw each other at the grocery store and pretended not to know each other. Next week’s session writes itself.
— TracieBreaux (@traciebreaux.bsky.social) March 25, 2025 at 6:26 AM

#24

The guy next to me on this flight keeps trying to talk to me and it's so annoying. Like just because we're married
— Ariel Elias (@arielcomedy.bsky.social) March 25, 2025 at 8:57 AM

#25

Me: You know why you shouldn't set your password as beef stew Husband: Why? Me: It's not stroganoff Husband: *sighs*
— Jen Gentleman (@jenmsft.bsky.social) March 28, 2025 at 1:55 PM

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