The Hilarious Reality of Family Life: 20 Tweets You’ll Relate to All Too Well

My wife makes us put $5 in the "find jar" every time we make her find something we can't locate in the house.

After 13 months of saving, today we are buying a Ford Explorer

— Michael James (@MikeJamesAuthor) October 17, 2022

The Roomba keeps going right past a piece of garbage without picking it up. It’s one of the family now.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 27, 2021

Our 8-yr-old son announced that he is moving in with the family down the street because they have a PlayStation.

My wife: “What about us? We’re your family, and we love you.”

Son, enthusiastically: “We can be neighbors.”

— Dad Bits (@DadBits) August 16, 2018

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can't find it.

Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) January 8, 2020

My family has been giving each other the same five gift bags since 1984.

— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 13, 2022

I’m writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 23, 2022

Is she really your mom if she doesn't call you by all your siblings' names before calling yours?

— Asmita 🇹🇹 (@azzytwin6) July 6, 2018

My husband bought harmonicas for our kids and now I need to find a new family

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 2, 2022

Sorry I'm running late for everything today.

We had a family emergency.

My 4-year-old couldn't find her imaginary watch.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 17, 2018

my family says their goodbyes then stand around talking for 30-45 more minutes

— st⭐️rboy (@darryllfloress) January 21, 2022

Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can wear warm fall clothes in 88° weather and pay $56 for our family to pick them ourselves.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 25, 2022

Have kids, they said pic.twitter.com/g3ilWo9Jwb

— meghan (@deloisivete) October 24, 2021

My husband is helping me relax by taking the kids to school this morning. We went over the drop off procedure 37 times and he just left without one of the kids.

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) October 24, 2019

The most unrealistic thing I've ever seen in a movie is when an entire family sits down to eat breakfast together on a weekday.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 14, 2022

Just overheard my 54 year old dad tell my 58 year old aunt “don’t tell mom”

So apparently that’s a lifelong thing.

— bekah (@bekah_owsley) August 9, 2018

Me: The house is a disaster. We all need to clean.

8-year-old: Who's coming over?

Me: No one. We're cleaning for us.

8: But we already know we live like this.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 14, 2018

My kids have started removing one letter of bad words, so they can call each other names and not get in trouble.

So, I've decided to add one digit to the wifi password until they can be nice to each other.

Your move itches

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) April 16, 2019

omg my kids are waiting for a package and I walk out to this pic.twitter.com/MUKku8fpq8

— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) September 18, 2021