I love working with kids, because they are often hilarious…even when they don’t mean to be.
I’ve rounded up some of the funniest quips from kids, who, for one reason or another, were just oh so confused.
Hope these bring you some laughs!
Janene
#1
I did the universal sign for “call me” and my tween gave me a confused look and asked “on a banana?”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 5, 2023
#2
*walking into the park*
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 15, 2021
husband: oh look they’re playing soccer and baseball in those fields over there
6yo: I hope the soccer team wins
#3
my kid thinks that if you go to the same drive thru twice in a day you have to wear a disguise so they don’t know it’s you
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) February 19, 2022
#4
I was telling my kids about the time in 1996, after just moving to Atlanta, I got lost and it took me 5 hours to get home because I didn’t have a map.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) April 30, 2020
My son said, “What do you mean map? Like a National Treasure map?”
#5
My son asked me
— Zack Riley 🇦🇺 (@ColdHeart_Prj) January 2, 2020
"Where does poo come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation.
He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
#6
In the best yet things-my-nephews-have-done, the 7 year old ordered a burger today, and was asked if he wanted it medium. "Could you please make it very large?" he asked. Told that the choice was between medium or well done, he asked if the chef could do the best he could. Yes.
— Andy Kesson (@andykesson) August 16, 2019
#7
*Opens bottle of bleach*
— Julz (@azedi) November 27, 2018
Nephew : How did you open it? I tried but it didn't open.
Me : Oh it's coz it has a child safety lock. Children can't open it.
*nephew looks at bottle in amazement*
Nephew : How did it know I was a child?
🤣🤣🤣
#8
Last night my 4yo said a prayer for all the people in the world including "Africa, Asia and Syrup." From now on, I will be referring to Europe only as Syrup.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 1, 2020
#9
I bought my son a book about bats and halfway through it he shouted out, “WHAT??? BATS ARE REAL?!?!” All this time he thought they were made up for Halloween like ghosts and witches
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) August 16, 2018
#10
8: mommy I want to study pastrami
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 28, 2020
Me: why pastrami specifically?
8: I’m just super interested in the stars
Me: astronomy you mean astronomy
8: pretty sure it’s pastrami
#11
Our landline rang today and all three of our kids got confused and went outside because they thought a fire alarm was going off.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 13, 2017
#12
My 8yo singing Howareyouyeah instead of Hallelujah is the rewrite we all needed.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 13, 2024
#13
Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 22, 2021
#14
Came out of my house this morning and a mom & little boy were stopped at the end of my driveway. Our car blocked my view, but I thought a turtle or snake might be there. “He asked was this is,” she said. “He’s never seen one before.” They were looking at the newspaper.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) May 31, 2020
#15
We went into the basement for a tornado.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 2, 2016
My 3-year-old thought we were hiding from a tomato.
Honestly, that scared her even more.
#16
I’m writing a condolence card. Gregory (5) asks what I’m doing. “I’m writing a note to say how sorry I am that my friend’s mom died,” I say.
— Miriel Thomas Reneau (@mirielmargaret) May 16, 2020
He pauses for a VERY fraught moment and then asks, oh so tentatively
“…that’s just to be kind, right? You’re not the one who did it?”
#17
My 6 year old brothers teacher asked the class what’s their favorite season and he said garlic powder 😭😭😭😭
— KK🏆 (@kaileeaj_) December 3, 2020
#18
my son didn't know the name for a clothes hanger so I was pretty confused when he asked me for a pants hooker
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) September 8, 2021
#19
My 8yo daughter met a girl at summer camp last year named "Internet." I said no way, that can't be her name but my daughter has been adamant. For almost a year we've been having this discussion.
— Brianne M. Kohl (@BrianneKohl) March 18, 2022
ANTOINETTE. I just found out her name is Antoinette.
#20
We have friends coming from the Netherlands. My 8yo kept asking if their kids have grown. We couldn’t understand why she was fixated on this.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 26, 2023
Neverland. She thought they were from Neverland.
#21
My 4yo just asked for "corn off the bone."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) October 17, 2023
#22
my 3 year old kept saying she "wants a spirit guest & needs a spirit guest" and "has a spirit guest" and like 4 exorcisms later, i realized she was just talking about asparagus.
— SuthiΞ (@suthie86) November 4, 2022
#23
#24
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