25 Hilarious Posts From Adults Who Got Absolutely Roasted By Kids

Kids are nothing if not honest. It’s one of the reasons that makes them so endearing, and also one of the reasons they can be brutal when the honesty is directed at you.

I’ve rounded up the funniest tweets I could find where kids, mostly unintentionally, just absolutely roasted the adults in their life. Parenting is not for the weak.

Hope these bring you some laughs!

Janene

#1

I was complaining that we have too much stuff in our house and need to get rid of some of it and my 4yo looked me dead in the eye and said “you should probably burn it in the oven like all our food mummy” and then carried on playing with her Barbie
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) April 14, 2021

#2

I was teaching my son to read and he asked me how to spell "momma." Not sure if my wife preferred "mama," I paused and said, "I don't know, I'll ask mom." After that we practiced DOG, CAT, and RUN, and after each word he'd ask if I was sure or if I wanted to check with my wife.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 30, 2020

#3

Me: *parks the car*
My kid: *gets out, surveys the scene, sighs heavily*
Me: You are SEVEN.
Him: Yes, but when I learn to drive I will park much better than this.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) February 22, 2024

#4

I sing in the car. My 3 y/o daughter was eating an ice cream cone in the back seat and asked me to wait until she finished it. Why, I asked? “So I can cover my ears”
— Jeanette Gault (@jeanette_gault) January 19, 2021

#5

[dramatically opens a stuck lid on a bottle]

Me: Not bad, huh?

4-year-old: You're almost as strong as Mom.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 25, 2016

#6

I told my nephew a watermelon was gonna grow in his stomach because he ate some of the seeds and I kid you not, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “nope because there’s no sunlight so you’re wrong and college has failed you”
He’s 7.
— gracie (@GracieGrayC) May 24, 2018

#7

My daughter looked at me adoringly and said, “Mama, I love you and your chins.”
— Lara Ehrlich (@TheLaraEhrlich) February 10, 2020

#8

One of the greatest joys of parenting is doing workout videos in front of your children. They yell out little encouragements like, “mom, she’s going faster than you!” and “why’d you stop, it’s still going!”
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) January 4, 2022

#9

our soccer ref didn’t show up so one of the moms on our team had her 9 year old son ref for us (he had a whistle) and a completely adult woman on the other team argued with one of his calls and he yellow carded her in front of everyone and she had to sit in her car to calm down
— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) December 21, 2019

#10

Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
Me: Yep
5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016

#11

When I ask my husband to do projects around the house, I send my 5yo to "help" him bc she motivates him by saying things like:

"I don't think you're strong enough to carry that box."

"You're going so slow."

"Why did you drop those screws on the ground like that?"
— Stay at Homie (@stayathomies) July 16, 2020

#12

I told my 6yo that I’m 38, and she started crying. When I asked why, she said, “I’m just sad because old people die.” So now I’m both touched because she loves me so much, and depressed because thinks my life expectancy is that of a 17th century colonial farmer.
— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) December 2, 2020

#13

8yr old “If I can guess what our basketball game score will be before the game starts how much money will you give me?”

Me “The exact score? $5.”

8yr old “It’ll be 0 to 0 because I said the score before it started.”

Me “……”

8yr old “Hand it over.”
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) December 8, 2018

#14

I explained to my daughter that when Netflix started they used to send you DVDs.

6yr old: (old lady voice) You know, back in my day, the internet used to come in the mail.
— Donald Zimmer (@zimmer_donald) September 27, 2020

#15

My youngest took her little hands and put them on either side of my face and oh so sweetly said:

“Mommy you have little lines around your eyes. Is that because you’re old now?”
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) February 28, 2022

#16

5 asked me if I’ve ever been to jail and when I said no, she said “wow, not even for your cooking?”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 26, 2022

#17

I started cooking dinner, and my 7yo paused in her playing, gave me a hard side eye, and opened the window in anticipation of smoke. That burn is worse than anything I could do to the food, y’all.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) September 3, 2024

#18

Our dishwasher broke and I told the kids we have to wash everything in the sink and 5 said “like you did in the olden days when you lived in a cave”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) May 1, 2022

#19

We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) May 15, 2022

#20

8-year-old: Want to play a board game?

Me: Yes! You never want to play with me.

8: My homework is to be nice to the elderly.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 13, 2022

#21

Parenting experts never warn you that one day you'll offer to let your son borrow one of your ties to match the suit he's wearing for prom and he'll respond by asking you if you have anything that's not from the 1900s
— 🌜🤷‍♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷‍♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) April 29, 2024

#22

The pediatrician: What do you eat at your house?
My 5yo: MOSTLY NACHOS
Me: I mean, that's not ALL we eat, hon.
5yo: YOU ARE RIGHT. WE ALSO EAT COSTCO PIZZA
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) September 26, 2024

#23

#24

#25 And one from my own kid…

Got a minute to stick around to meet more funny kids? Check out one of my most popular posts: Out of the Mouths of Babes: 25 of the Funniest Quips from Kids

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#12

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#14

#15

#16

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#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25 And one from my own kid…

Got a minute to stick around to meet more funny kids? Check out one of my most popular posts: Out of the Mouths of Babes: 25 of the Funniest Quips from Kids

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