“I went to school with a kid who was so smart, the only time he got an answer wrong, they had to go back and change the question.” Gene Perret
Having worked with children for most of my life, I’ve met some kids truly beyond their years. I’ve been outsmarted and outwitted by many a child, including my own.
I’ve rounded up a collection of posts about kids who are sassy, smart, and whose confidence we should all have.
Hope these bring you some laughs!
Janene
#1
My little sister did homework for a kid in her school because he promised to pay her $30 but after she finished it for him he told her that he wasn’t gonna pay her so she just sent him a picture of an email draft addressed to him and his teacher and just says “what about now”
— Lukas Battle (@lukasbattle) January 25, 2020
#2
My youngest hacked our Netflix parental code. She put light grease on the remote and got me to input the code when she wasn’t looking. Then she noted the numbers I’d pressed and went through the combinations later. I’m both frightened and impressed.
— Ed O'Loughlin (@edoloughlin) September 6, 2020
#3
My brother asked my 5-year-old what day her birthday is. My 5-year-old with a condescending tone, "the same day I was born." My brother apologized for asking such a foolish question.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 9, 2022
#4
My 9yo son as I dropped him off at school, "time to make some money!" Apparently he's selling his Halloween candy to the kids who aren't allowed to have candy at home.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 3, 2022
#5
Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 16, 2016
#6
My kindergartener experienced her first smart toilet on our vacation. Her reaction? “If it was really smart it would get a new job. I’d much rather be a sink.”
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 16, 2024
#7
Last night at dusk we were playing outside and my 4yo was pretending to direct traffic as cars went by. A woman rolled down her window and very kindly said “thanks for your help!” and my 4yo, completely seriously goes “you’re welcome. You need to turn on your headlights.”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) September 13, 2024
#8
Bribed my 9YO w $5 to clean up so I could shower.
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) September 16, 2020
When I got out, he was done, so I gave him a 5.
He asked for singles & passed $2 to my 5YO & shoved $3 into his pocket.
5 proudly announced she did the chores. He watched TV.
I can’t decide if he’s a genius or a monster.
#9
Sent two of my third grade girls back to class and said “I love you you’re so smart and special and beautiful and strong have an amazing and wonderful day” and one said “that made me feel good” and the other said “that was a lot of adjectives”
— maddie, hot dog enthusiast (@damnitmadeline) December 13, 2023
#10
Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.
— Rogue Dad, M.D. (@RogueDadMD) April 23, 2018
#11
Pilot (to my 5-year-old daughter a few days ago): Do you know you could be a flight attendant when you grow up?
— Rebecca Papin (@RebeccaPapin) April 13, 2022
5: I could also own the plane.
#12
Told my daughter work was tough today and she patted my back and said, “Life isn’t always pickles and peaches,” like some kind of 3rd Grade Confucius.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) March 19, 2021
#13
I told my nephew a watermelon was gonna grow in his stomach because he ate some of the seeds and I kid you not, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “nope because there’s no sunlight so you’re wrong and college has failed you”
— gracie (@GracieGrayC) May 24, 2018
He’s 7.
#14
8yr old “If I can guess what our basketball game score will be before the game starts how much money will you give me?”
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) December 8, 2018
Me “The exact score? $5.”
8yr old “It’ll be 0 to 0 because I said the score before it started.”
Me “……”
8yr old “Hand it over.”
#15
6YO: Can I eat a cookie?
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 2, 2021
Me: Finish your dinner first
6YO: My stomach is full except for a circle shaped space
#16
HR at my work just called me and i thought i was in trouble for something but they just let me know my 11-year-old sister has been commenting on their instagram every day telling them to give me a raise
— rattata dad (@OfficialSharlie) December 12, 2018
#17
My 5yo won an argument with me by saying “I’m just going to agree with myself”
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) July 12, 2022
#18
The most “Shawshank Redemption” story you’ll hear today:
— Peter Hartlaub (@peterhartlaub) August 21, 2018
My younger son tries to sneak sugar packets out of restaurants and eat them in the car. We’ve taken to checking his pockets, so he stuffed five of them in a hollowed-out breadstick. pic.twitter.com/F81jQuvW7g
#19

#20
2 weeks ago, I told kids at school to write an essay titled ‘If I Were a Millionaire.’
— Lady Ola🌺 (@HoladeyforU) December 18, 2018
Everyone was writing, except a girl who leaned back with arms folded.
“What’s the matter,” I asked. “Why aren't you writing?”
“I’m waiting for my secretary,” she replied.
Scored her 10/10.
#21 LOL!!
Kids have their own cards and they get pocket money weekly to spend on whatever they want. Youngest, 13 next week, spent over £30 on one thing the other day, saying that I’ll find out what it is when it gets here. It came today… pic.twitter.com/7GGdH5jS9r
— 𝙼𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚊 𝙻-𝙷 (@LissyLawHuds) April 13, 2021