20 of the Funniest Quips From Women This Week

“hey, sorry I just saw ur text”

– me with a screen time of 13 hrs per day

— ًً (@mistuits__) June 10, 2025

I can do a lot of things but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

— Kristen (@Kica333) June 8, 2025

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 13, 2025

Going out with your extrovert friend is stressful because they will talk to ANYONE

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 8, 2025

I took my nephew to the aquarium tonight and while he was petting a stingray he yelled “it feels like ham!”

— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) June 11, 2025

Thanks to the lady arguing loudly with her boyfriend next to me and my own general nosiness I have a new personal record on the stairclimber

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 11, 2025

Friend: I need some advice

Me: (Accidentally putting both legs in the same pant leg): You’ve come to the right person

— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) June 11, 2025

Believe in myself? The person who got me into this mess in the first place?

— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) June 11, 2025

Sex ed for teens should include loading kids, stroller, & groceries/sports gear into the car while the baby has a blowout all in the pouring rain.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 13, 2025

Tore a tag off my cheap leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing

— meghan (@deloisivete) June 11, 2025