25 of the Funniest Quips From Women This Week

gonna start running tomorrow but I’m confused how it works… am I just supposed to literally take off running? that’s so embarrassing 😭

— ʎʞɔnl (@CELE6RITY) June 27, 2025

how I clean my room:

1. start in one corner
2. find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours
3. go to bed

— ໊ (@kateinwords) June 27, 2025

She believed she could.

But it was 95 degrees out.

So she didn’t.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) June 22, 2025

Am I the prettiest girl? No
Do I have a great personality? Not really..
But do I try every day to be a better version of myself? This isn’t going as well as I’d hoped

— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) June 24, 2025

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

— Kristen (@Kica333) June 22, 2025

Smoke detector batteries can only malfunction between the hours of midnight and 4am. It’s science.

— 😺Cat😺 (@CatHunterESPN) June 24, 2025

The older I get, the longer the list of reasons I don't want to leave the house or go to social events.

It's too late, too early, I'm too tired, it's too far to drive, too cold, too hot, too windy, too snowy, too rainy, too crowded, too expensive, nowhere to park.

— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) June 23, 2025

I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally I’m just indoors with air conditioning.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 25, 2025

Saw a woman I know but not well today, told her I loved her dress.

She told me where it was from, how much it cost and demonstrated that it had pockets.

10/10. No notes.

— Laura Pearson (@LauraPAuthor) June 24, 2025

this heat is not joke people, please stay safe. if you feel like you are close to heat exhaustion please listen to your body, find the closest mexican restaurant and order their largest margarita.

— The Ginger Swindler (superbowl champ) (@lilydsmith) June 23, 2025

I love when someone ends a meeting 6 minutes early and says “I’ll give you some time back in your day.” Thanks Kevin, now I can finish that bathroom project, maybe do some traveling.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) June 25, 2025

this insane heat wave just happened to land on the week that i had planned to change my entire life and become the person i have always dreamt of being. Guess i will have to hold off on that

— Grace (@gracecamille_) June 24, 2025

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late

— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) June 24, 2025