20 of the Best Tweets From Women This Week

The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.

Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.

Hope these bring some smiles to your day!

Janene

#1

Me: can you say, "I'm good"?
Toddler: I good
Me: when someone says, "How are you?" you say, "I'm good."
Toddler: Okay mommy
Me: How are you?
Toddler: I cowboy
— Tessa 🤱🏻 (@Libraryoftessa) October 19, 2024

#2

When I buy a multipack of lip balms, I put one in my purse and scatter the rest randomly around the house to save time from the inevitability of losing them.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) October 14, 2024

#3

Little treats aren’t cutting it anymore. It’s time to bring on the big treats.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 13, 2024

#4

My skills include being able to forget someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.
— Kristen (@Kica333) October 13, 2024

#5 YES! I grew up in New York and I absolutely hated having to wear my big winter coat over my costume…used to fight my mom tooth and nail about it!

*takes long drag from cigarette

“Back in my day it was so cold we had to wear jackets over our costumes when we trick-or-treated.”
— 💀SpookyLittleComic👻 (@CunniLinguist77) October 17, 2024

#6

going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan
— erica (@ericanextdooor) October 16, 2024

#7

‘Why’s this place so crowded’
– Me when there’s one or two random people somewhere
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) October 14, 2024

#8

When I was a kid, a friend of mine said her favorite hobby was eating food. I thought that was ridiculous and told her that wasn't a hobby. But now, I see I was completely wrong.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) October 17, 2024

#9

Me: I am a goddess. I was born for greatness. I will paint these shutters myself.

Me halfway up a 20-foot ladder: I am a land mammal. I was born with gravity. I will pay someone else to paint these shutters.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 14, 2024

#10 If I admit that after reading this, I tried to lick my elbow, are you gonna unfollow me LOL??

Today on the morning announcements, the principal shared the wacky fact that it's impossible for someone to lick their own elbows.

Which led to a roomful of first graders all trying, with varying degrees of stealth, to lick their own elbows during the pledge of allegiance.
— Caitlin 🚗 🧀 Driscoll (@TeacherOnTopic) October 18, 2024

#11

nvm just remembered i have free will https://t.co/XYuZXK0E1O
— RB. (@RachealBakunzi) October 19, 2024

#12

The older I get, the larger the percentage of my wardrobe that comes from Costco.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 17, 2024

#13

Me: does strength training for the first time in months

Me (12 hours later): wow, I must be getting some horrible flu or maybe I have some sort of horrific degenerative muscle condition, I think I might be dying and I definitely can’t walk
— Shematologist, MD (@acweyand) October 16, 2024

#14

Do you ever put something important in such a safe place that even you can’t find it? 😅
— Meagan ❄️ (@atlmeagsnow) October 19, 2024

#15

working in an office is so funny it’s like what if 100 grown ups liked candy as much as any five year old
— rosie (@crookedcourses) October 16, 2024

#16

I understand why we need warning labels on products but I think they should start including the origin story of why the warning was necessary just to spice things up
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 17, 2024

#17

“your apartment is so clean” thank you! if you opened the front hall closet you’d be crushed to death by debris 🙂
— chase (@_chase_____) October 15, 2024

#18

Not to be dramatic but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life
— Sophie Hall-oween 🎃 (@SophLouiseHall) October 18, 2024

#19

#20

It's my daughter's birthday and she came home from preschool and told me "If it's your birthday on the day when the goats come, you get to have one stand on your back." And yes that SOUNDS like crazy talk but I did find this in my email: pic.twitter.com/UjKZ4w2XVb
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 18, 2024

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5 YES! I grew up in New York and I absolutely hated having to wear my big winter coat over my costume…used to fight my mom tooth and nail about it!

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10 If I admit that after reading this, I tried to lick my elbow, are you gonna unfollow me LOL??

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

For more laughs, check out: “20 Hilariously Relatable Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Middle Age”

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