Oh, cheese, how I love thee, let me count the ways: Cheddar, Parmesan, Mozzarella…ok, now I’m hungry.
I can do without a lot of things, but cheese ain’t one of them.
It’s National Cheese Lover’s Day and I’ve rounded up the funniest tweets about cheese for you and your cheese-loving family and friends.
Enjoy!
Janene
#1
2-year-old: *screeches*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 29, 2018
Me: What's the emergency?
2: I need cheese.
That is an emergency.
#2
I'm not saying my daughter has life figured out but she's walking around with a purse full of cheese.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 17, 2020
#3
And I ask myself for the 12th time this week, “is this a real problem or do I just need to eat something with melted cheese?”
— Ponytail N. Glasses (@ponyglasses) August 4, 2021
#4
If anybody says that you’re putting too much parmesan on your spaghetti, stop speaking to them. No-one needs that kind of negativity in their life.
— Bryony Burrell (@lifeofbryony) September 21, 2020
#5
I taught my toddler how to wish upon a star tonight and she wished for a big cheese wheel.
— LaughCryCoffee (@laughcrycoffee) October 1, 2022
#6
My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) December 14, 2022
#7
Don’t let a recipe tell you how much cheese to add, just listen to your heart
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) November 28, 2022
#8
I'm not proud of the person I become when I see a cheese tray at a party.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) April 21, 2022
#9
If you’re wondering what peak happiness looks like, my 2 y/o is walking around with a slice of muenster cheese in one hand and mozzarella string cheese in the other.
— Dadof2Boys (@Dadof2crazyboys) August 4, 2022
#10
I got a dm from a guy who wanted to be my sugar daddy. He said I’d have a $500/week allowance and I don’t know how to tell him that that’s my cheese budget.
— Annie the Nanny (@AnnietheNanny1) December 28, 2018
#11
[grating cheese over my pasta]
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) February 18, 2016
Waiter: Tell me when
Me:
W:…
Me:
W:…
Me:
W:…
Me:
W: are you gonna say when?
Me: Wow our first fight.
#12
My toddler just told me I’m the best mummy ever because I “bought the good cheese for once” so I’ll be riding this high until her next tantrum
— Lottie-pop 🍠(@Lottie_Poppie) June 25, 2022
#13
Why is mild cheddar even a thing? Who are these people who can't handle sharp cheddar & why are they allowed to influence the cheese market?
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) July 21, 2014
#14
My husband said we have too much cheese in the fridge, so now I need to find a new husband.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 29, 2019
#15
I feel like what this parmesan cheese needs is just a dash of parmesan cheese.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 6, 2015
#16
Just caught 3 gnawing on a block of Parmesan. She’s living her best life.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) May 30, 2019
#17
[restaurant]
— Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) November 22, 2019
Me: I'm gonna run into their kitchen and grab some extra cheese
Her: … you definitely don't have permission
Me: It's actually pronounced parmesan
#18
if u don’t tell the Olive Garden employee “stop” they’ll just keep grating the cheese. they’re legally bound to keep going. they’ll fill the whole restaurant with parmesan if they have to.
— Matthew (@chillwaveguy) December 12, 2019
#19
When I was a teen I went to a GI doctor bc I thought something was seriously wrong with me but the dr was like “You’re just eating too many mozzarella sticks” and he was right and I have never fully recovered from this brutal own
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) September 22, 2019
#20
My wife just rolled over to me in bed and whispered, “I know it’s late but do you want to have cheese toast?” That, my friends, is how you keep the romance alive.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 3, 2021
#21
We have audacity and nerve to thank for cheese. Because somebody saw milk get so old that it became a solid, ate some, and took it back to the village like “This is absolutely delicious. You must try it.”
— Ryan Ken (@Ryan_Ken_Acts) August 28, 2021
#22
When slicing cheese, for every slice you slice, you must eat a slice. This is the only method. All other methods are wrong.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 3, 2018
#23
My 3yo determines which kids are friend material by asking them if they like cheese.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 11, 2018
#24
I told my wife we could go out to eat absolutely anywhere she wanted.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 9, 2021
She chose a Mexican restaurant so she could order queso.
Girls don't want to be wined and dined. They just want to eat their body weight in cheese.
#25
Wife: [putting cheese on her eggs] do we need to change our diet?
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) January 31, 2019
Me: [putting cheese on my oatmeal] oatmeal and eggs are pretty healthy.
Wife: [putting cheese on her cheese] so that’s a no?
Me: [drinking cheese from the blender] definitely a no.
