20 of the Best Tweets From Women This Week

The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.

Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.

Hope these help you start the weekend off with some smiles!

Janene

#1 It’s funny because it’s true! I do love perusing at TJ Maxx, you never know what you’ll find…

Love driving home from TJ Maxx, my car full of $76 worth of absolutely nothing, wolfing down my disgusting little snack mix from a made up company called like “PopFactory Krinkle Snacks Inc” that I found in the same aisle as dog toys
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 4, 2023

#2 Relatable…

It took me five minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 6, 2023

#3 I can smell this tweet…

Gen Z, please heed my warning : Ballet flats are coming back in style but do not go down this road.

They might seem cute & practical, but you will stress about going to someone's house because the smell of your feet once you take those shoes off is KILLER
— Julie S. Lalonde (@JulieSLalonde) October 5, 2023

#4 Ouch…

Thought it was really hip our high school marching band played Blink-182 last night. “It’s nice they play more modern music, ours only played oldies,” I found myself thinking.

Then it hit me.
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) September 30, 2023

#5 Ha ha love it…

at the wedding i'm at today, when it was ring time, they put the ring box in the pocket of the wedding dress and there was an audible gasp around the room: "it has pockets 😮"
— Florence Schechter (@floschechter) September 30, 2023

#6 I check to see where this tweet was from because I thought “can’t be from the U.S.” and sure enough, it’s from the U.K. where tea is taken a bit more seriously LOL…

There is a lady on my train who has just produced a flask of hot water, along with (I kid you not) a teapot, cup and saucer. Damn it, being in transit WILL NOT stop her having her morning cuppa in the most civilised manner possible, and I have so much time for that. ☕️🫖❤️
— Eleanor Minney (@minneymezzo) September 29, 2023

#7 Exactly!

Grocery prices are so high that I am now being forced to eat the food I bring home from the grocery store.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 5, 2023

#8 Too cute!

A student came to the library to ask about her club funds because her teacher told her to see the bookkeeper. So she came to me. The keeper of the books. This is the cutest thing that will happen to me all day.
— Jessica Malone Grider (@mrs_g_rider) October 5, 2023

#9 Ok, yeah, that does actually all sound very suspicious…

My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I’d ever had.
— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) October 4, 2023

#10 I’d say either marry him or run, not sure which!

This guy I went on two dates with just delivered an $800 espresso machine to my house because I mentioned how I’ve really been into coffee lately
— Donella (@DonellaVolkova) October 2, 2023

#11 If I couldn’t relax when there are dishes in the sink, I’d never relax at all. When you have three kids, there are always dishes in the sink…

There are those who can’t relax when there are dishes in the sink and those who don’t even notice dishes in the sink and they marry each other.
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) October 2, 2023

#12 I love dads and their pets…

Just overheard my Dad say to the cat “you’re looking very smart”
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 3, 2023

#13 The best part of this is the name he gave it…

6yo: (raises hand during math lesson)

Me: (anticipating a math question) Yes?

6: I found a snail in my backyard yesterday and I named it Gary.
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) October 5, 2023

#14 Right?? I had not heard of him until Taylor Swift showed up LOL…

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) October 1, 2023

#15 Exactly…

My husband sent me a photo to show he changed the overhead light in our stairwell, and I thought about sending him photos of everything I accomplish in a day but that would break the internet.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 1, 2023

#16 Me, every time…

GIRL MATH: if i don't spend enough to get free shipping i’m losing money
— kayla👸🏼🍓 (@garzaaa8_) September 30, 2023

#17 Agreed!

Met my friends for drinks and dinner at 4pm and made it home and into my pjs by 8pm. This is what success looks like.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) September 30, 2023

#18 My husband wakes up before me and I steal his pillow as soon as he leaves LOL…

Sure it’s challenging when my husband travels for work but you know what isn’t? Using all his pillows in addition to my own
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) October 6, 2023

#19 Ha ha, right?? I do remember this being super handy when my kids were babies…

I will always and forever be staunchly PRO-BREASTFEEDING.

Not because formula is inferior or cannot nourish a baby as well (I do not think this)

but for the sake of the MOTHER

because I believe in the SANCTITY of an AIRTIGHT EXCUSE to duck out of ANY GIVEN SOCIAL SITUATION.
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) October 3, 2023

#20 Ok, that is one terrifying tomato…

Don’t know if I should add dressing or holy water pic.twitter.com/Z0m1pxFdhw
— Midge (@mxmclain) September 30, 2023