Just some funny and relatable quips from parents who made me laugh.
Wishing you all a great day!
Janene
#1
Anyone else have a kid who’s been planning their bday party for months, and it’s escalating?
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) March 30, 2024
My 5yo: I WANT A TATTOO PARTY
Me: Temporary tattoos? Sure, that—
5: REAL ONES. CAREFUL WITH THE NEEDLES
Me:
5: WHAT?
Me: We cannot tattoo your friends. Or you.
5: FINE. SKYDIVING THEN
#2
9:30 in the morning, the woman behind me in line says to her toddler “No, I don’t think they have ice cream right now, nobody eats ice cream this early in the morning,” just as I turn around holding a giant cup of vanilla soft serve.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 9, 2024
#3
My kid said that his bones feel like magnet and that the bed feels like magnet and that is why he can’t be up for school.
— Maddy ☃️❄️ (@MadHatterMommy) April 5, 2024
#4
My 4yo just realized he could raise both his eyebrows at the same time
— kids_kubed 🇨🇦 (@Kids_kubed) April 3, 2024
He now does it every time he makes eye contact with me and it looks like we are in cahoots orchestrating the most diabolical plan ever
#5
The applesauce cup that goes back and forth in my kid's lunch gets out of the house more than I do
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 29, 2024
#6
Why is your kid mad at you today? Mine is mad because I didn’t take him to a restaurant that shut done before he was born.
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) April 2, 2024
#7
A random kid just knocked on my door because – he said and I quote “I smelled cake”. And I get him.
— Maddy ☃️❄️ (@MadHatterMommy) April 19, 2024
#8
Because I never explained otherwise, my son spent a good stretch of time in his childhood thinking that a vice principal at a school was there in case the principal was assassinated.
— John Moe (@johnmoe) April 9, 2024
#9
My child: I like this.
— StressieBessie (@EPrecipice) April 3, 2024
Me: What do you mean?
Him: I like this. You and me. Just two dudes gossiping and walking to the post office because we are friends but also we do errands.
#10
My 14yo asked me to get her ice cream “as a reward for existing,” and honestly? Valid.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 4, 2024
#11
Hello I just picked my son up from school and thought his teacher was moving to hug me but she was going to hug my son and we ended up in a three person hug and she said “oh okay” so I’m gonna go die now
— Melissa (@awkwardenabled) April 22, 2024
#12
My kid went to the zoo and has been telling me all about his favorite exhibit: gift shop
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 5, 2024
#13
My 5yo, to me: I WILL PROBABLY INVITE YOU TO ME WEDDING.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) May 4, 2024
#14
My 2 year old just looked outside and exclaimed “my rock is growing so fast!”
— Ryan Briggs (@ryancbriggs) August 3, 2025
and then the 9 year old whispered to me “I swap it out for a larger rock when she isn’t looking.”
#15
I let my son dish up his own food at a buffet for the first time today. While making his way through the line, he paused briefly at the enchiladas then said, “I’m going to save those for my third plate.” The kid’s a natural.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 3, 2024
#16
My son was mad at me today so he told me as much punishment I had to go to my room and sleep for 24 hours. If I got hungry, he’d bring me whatever food I wanted, but I was not allowed to leave my bed for one whole day.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) April 3, 2024
If you need me, I’ll be on vaca-, I mean, in my room.
#17
my 7 year old came home from school and told me she learned online safety including not to click links that people you don’t know send you
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 3, 2024
because you might end up with a fungus
#18
“Mama, can we Google a picture of the Tooth Fairy sitting on her pile of teeth that she’s collected?” – My 6yo unlocking a nightmare I never knew I had
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 31, 2024
#19
My 4-year-old opened a Cadbury Cream Egg and then instinctively opened a mini Kit Kat and used it as a spoon to eat the cream. Taking notes…
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 31, 2024
#20
Asked my kid how he wanted me to cut his sandwich, and he said he didn't care, but Reader, it was a trap
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 24, 2024
