Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

ONE OF THE KIDS REPLACED AN EMPTY TOILET PAPER ROLL IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 6, 2023

The most middle aged mom thing I do is appreciate a good fast food napkin. I love a boost to my car napkin collection.

— La Femme Fatali (@toomanycommas3) December 6, 2023

One day my kid will find out that McDonald’s does not sell a 5 piece McNugget.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 6, 2023

Fellow parents: can we agree that unless someone has explicitly asked you for hand me downs showing up at their house with bags of your kids’ old stuff is an act of war

— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) December 6, 2023

12: How do they know Santa wants milk and cookies? What if he wants a Taco Bell combo?

Me: Solid point.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 8, 2023

The seatbelt sensor dinged at my 5yo because he unbuckled while we were parked, and he yelled back MY MOM SAID I COULD OK

— meghan (@deloisivete) December 8, 2023

i wish i was as rich as my 8 yo who just threw away 2 uneaten poptarts because they "looked not right"

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 5, 2023

My husband: we really need to cut back our spending

My dog: absolutely, right after an emergency visit to the vet

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 8, 2023

Boss: What are you working on?

Me: Ugh. Just trying to finish up before this deadline.

Boss: I'll leave you to it, then.

Me: [goes back to Christmas shopping]

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 4, 2023

Remember that Christmas in the 90’s when everyone just gave each other polar fleece from Old Navy and it was the happiest we have ever been?

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 8, 2023

My 5yo got overheated, threw his blanket off, got out of bed, turned on the fan, got back in bed, pulled his blanket back up, and stuck one foot out from under the covers

It’s amazing how fast they learn

— meghan (@deloisivete) December 7, 2023

My 3yo came home saying he learned how to sit “criss cross pizza sauce” and I just want to know when they changed it from “applesauce.”

— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) December 4, 2023

If I got the opportunity to be a kid again, I would be so well-behaved. I would just eat my free food and take that nap with zero fuss.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 7, 2023

Me, a 40-year-old woman: I really hope I get an A on my daughter’s second grade school project.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 5, 2023

My coworkers refused to believe I made the delicious Potluck lunch dish I brought and they kept claiming my wife did. In keeping with this toxic workplace atmosphere of distrust, I’m not telling them it was store bought.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) December 5, 2023

My son bought me something for Christmas using his credit card.

A credit card that I pay for.

I hope I got myself something nice.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 7, 2023

Why I thought parenting would be exhausting: waking up early, carrying kids, making meals

Why it’s actually exhausting: all those things while my 3yo demands I make the kitchen appliances talk to each other and then cries when “YOURE NOT DOING THE TOASTERS VOICE RIGHT”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 5, 2023

IM SCREACHINGNNNGNNGNNG my autistic son has been carrying a toy elephant EVERYWHERE with him for years.. and at school they traced all the students at gingerbread men and his elephant was in his pocket 😭😭😭😭😭 please it’s so funny im dying pic.twitter.com/uRAkObsvay

— hannah momtana (@boiledcrocs) December 7, 2023

Now this is how you prepare for a baby 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/a1MZI0ggYX

— Daniel Marven (@danielmarven) December 3, 2023