Top 20 Best Tweets from the Hilarious “Rhyming Mama”

My daughter just asked me where we keep our crow bar and I’m pretty sure that’s my cue to end the unsupervised play portion of our day.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) April 2, 2020

My daughter has been home from school for 30 minutes. She’s been talking for 40 of them.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) April 23, 2021

I just told my daughter that when I was a kid our tv only had 4 channels and she rolled her eyes and said, “oK, mOm. wHaTeVeR,” and now I’m starting to wonder if maybe my father DID walk to school uphill both ways.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 13, 2022

Husbands be like, “I’m gonna nap in this room that everyone uses and then act grumpy when everyone uses it.”

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 30, 2020

My daughter is crying because her sister farted and I sprayed air freshener before she had a chance to sniff it. I’m raising savages.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) July 3, 2020

Me: I barely slept last night

Hubs: Me either. I was up most of the night.

Me: Cool. So I guess snoring while you’re awake is a thing now.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 17, 2019

I just yelled, “1, 2, 3 mommy is lava!” and my kids ran away, leaving me to drink my coffee in peace. I’m pretty sure I’ve peaked for the day.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) August 10, 2020

4: When will I stop growing?

Me: When you’re a grownup, like me.

4: But you still grow.

Me: No I don’t.

4: You grew too big for those pants you really like.

Me:

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) February 12, 2020

When I was in my 20’s I knew a guy named Jesus. He had an older brother named Moses and a younger brother named Steve. If that doesn’t sum up what’s it’s like to be the 3rd kid, I don’t know what does.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 8, 2021

Me: Goodnight, sleep tight. I’ll miss you ‘til the morning.

8: You miss us when we’re sleeping?

Me: I do. Sometimes I even look at pictures of you after you’ve fallen asleep.

8: Well, that’s weird. Don’t you have anything better to do?

Me:

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) October 15, 2020

I’m gonna pee one more time before I go to sleep just so I don’t wake up in the middle of the night to pee even though I’m still gonna wake up in the middle of the night to pee.

-people in their 40’s

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) October 1, 2021

My daughter told me she had a nightmare that while she was asleep the rest of our family ate cake without her and honestly, the thought of missing a cake party terrifies me too.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) February 1, 2021

My 4yo just interrupted my important phone call to let me know what a good job she was doing not interrupting my important phone call.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 12, 2020

Ever used your phone to shine a light on your kids face to see if they’ve finally fallen asleep and then accidentally dropped it on their head?

Um…me either.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 20, 2019

My daughter couldn’t get her desk chair lowered and asked specifically for my help because she needed “someone really heavy” to sit in it. Her father was standing right next to me.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 14, 2020

Being a woman means owning ten bras. One you wear six days a week. One is on emergency reserve in case you have to leave the house on laundry day. And the rest exist to take up space in your already overstuffed underwear drawer.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) February 18, 2020

My daughter lost a tooth today and asked if the tooth fairy was going to bring her $5 so I think it’s safe to say that not even the tooth fairy can escape this inflation.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) June 9, 2022

Nothing is more insulting to a toddler than accusing them of being tired.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) May 5, 2022

Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, “mommy, my fart is on the floor,” takes the cake. 😳😂

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) November 7, 2019