Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
*sees dead bird in a road*
— Aisha (@aishamadeit) May 21, 2024
toddler: what happened to that bird?
me: oh.. it, it died
toddler: oh…. that happened to some dinosaurs I know
#2
I told my son to do something, and he gave me that ugh attitude. My daughter looked at him, "THIRTY SIX hours!" To remind him how long I was in labor with him lmao
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 21, 2024
#3
Just walked to the grocery store at 10 PM and saw a disgruntled father walking out with his teen daughter, who was holding a tri-fold poster board and looked harried. Pray for this family.
— Alyssa Leader (@alittleleader) May 21, 2024
#4
Took my kid to “Bring Your Child To Work Day” a few weeks ago and now, any time I ask her how she’s doing, she says “Living the dream”.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 22, 2024
#5
15mos are the cutest humans in the world but also the most boring. Girl, we’ve been putting this baby doll to bed for 23 mins, please.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 21, 2024
#6
Hi, I'm a parent.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 21, 2024
You may recognize me from such classics as, "Whose Water Bottle Is This," "I Don't Understand Your Homework, Either," "Who Keeps Clogging the Toilet," and "How Did A Penny Get In The Garbage Disposal?"
#7
My 4yo was crying tonight because he wants to see all the snakes in Australia but he doesn’t want to have to sleep on a plane and sometimes I think I just wasn’t prepared to parent
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 22, 2024
#8
I want the audacity of a child who refuses to eat lunch and then immediately asks for a snack.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) May 20, 2024
#9
My kids wanted a story from my childhood so I told them about the time a traveling salesman came to our door and sold us the Encyclopedia Britannica in book form and I might as well have been speaking a foreign language because there was nothing in the story they could relate to
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 22, 2024
#10
My 8yo has somehow acquired a day planner. This isn’t going to end well.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 22, 2024
8yo: Mom, can we go to McDonald’s on August 24th?
Me: ummm…I don’t know, maybe?
8yo: *clicks pen*
#11
My daughter is now a licensed driver and we had her go out to pick us up some dinner.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 19, 2024
Y’all, it took 16 years, but I got my own Uber Eats driver now
#12
Before having kids, leave a box of crayons to melt onto the backseat of your car on a 90 degree day and see how you like it.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 23, 2024
#13
When you finally figure out what movie you want to watch and it’s not available on any of your 37 streaming services
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 21, 2024
#14
I finally found something that my daughter and I would both like to eat for dinner. It’s cake, but still.
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 22, 2024
#15
14 said in a grumpy tone "I can't wait to be 18 and move into my own place so I can do whatever I want" and boy did I have to hold in laughter because bro I'm 41 and I still can't do what I want.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 19, 2024
#16
wife: be careful climbing that ladder, it looks dangerous
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 20, 2024
me: hey, danger’s my middle name
daughter: WHAT?!?
son: SERIOUSLY?!? And I got stuck with Andrew???
#17
The 7 year old referred to some minor drama at school as having ‘almost caused world war one one one’, which I think is a beautiful example of saying something you’ve only ever read and never heard
— Eoin Daly (@eoinmauricedaly) May 21, 2024
#18
Husband: You’ve got to hold on a second, I can’t do everything at once!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 21, 2024
7: because you’re not a mom?
Husband: yes
#19
Doctor’s office: We need to reschedule your June 10 physical, next available is July 20th.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 22, 2024
Me: Sorry, I will be out of town
Office: (irritated) Well, are there any days you ARE available?
Me: I’m free June 10.
#20
😂#parenting #parents pic.twitter.com/MmH0d7UakB
— Raising Teens Today (@HonestTeenTalk) May 22, 2024
And this cute video of a little boy with a big idea!
@nelsonc85 Not sure how he came up with this idea🤷♀️😂#funnykidsoftiktok
♬ Funny Song – Mas Gombal
