So many funny tweets from parents this week it was hard to choose the best ones, but here are some of my favorites.
Wishing those who celebrate a very Merry Christmas!
Janene
#1
I’m sure sleeping in is nice but being the only one awake in a quiet house drinking coffee by the Christmas tree is elite.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 23, 2023
#2
made hot chocolate for my 5 year old and she was like “it’s like a warm cozy blanket for inside my body!” in case anyone’s looking for a 5 year old copywriter
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 17, 2023
#3
Science: A diamond is the hardest known material to date.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 18, 2023
Me [trying to clean cereal off a bowl that was left to harden in the sink overnight]: yeah okay
#4
Every craft store needs an aisle labeled So Your Child Has a School Project Due Tomorrow.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 19, 2023
#5
My 7 year old’s Christmas wish list includes:
— Dorie (@doriecp) December 17, 2023
– a typewriter
– a boom box for his cassettes
– a book to learn cursive handwriting
– fountain pens
What year does he live in??
#6
no one:
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 17, 2023
my kid at 6 am: why do they call them cowboys when they don't even ride cows
#7
My kids wanted to play hotel and after checking my husband into his room he went in and took a nap and he’s parenting on a whole new level
— Mommeh Thee Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) December 18, 2023
#8
Every year, my childless (by choice) brother tries to find the most annoying toy on the planet to send to my kids for Christmas. So this year for his gift, I’m sending the kids for a visit and to keep them entertained, I’m sending all the toys, too.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) December 17, 2023
#9
my favorite part of wrapping christmas presents is when i finish wrapping one and then go to write the name on it and i've completely forgotten what it was and who it was for.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 18, 2023
#10
My dad already put a box of garbage bags next to his favorite chair so he’s ready for Christmas morning so he’s reached peak holiday dad
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 21, 2023
#11
My daughter complained to her grandparents that I never make her clam chowder so when she left their house today she was the new owner of three giant tupperwares full of homemade clam chowder and a smug smile
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) December 17, 2023
#12
7: there were 5 cupcakes when I left and now there are 3. Did you eat 2?!
— Myrrhissa 💚🎄❤️💛 (@michimama75) December 21, 2023
Me: suddenly now you can do math
#13
Thoughts and prayers for the rival dad across the street who just missed trash pickup 3 days before Christmas.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 22, 2023
#14
My husband just threw out all the “crap” from my 8yo’s backpack without checking first. Pray for him.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 21, 2023
#15
my 9yo, most of the year: what month are we in?
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) December 17, 2023
my 9yo, today: it’s Dec 17 and there’s 174 hours till Christmas Eve.
#16
Someone once gave me the parenting advice “teach your kids to love games where you can lie down with your eyes closed” and thus I have sold my 3 year old “pajama party” as a major reward for good behavior. Game is us laying in my bed watching TV and eating M and Ms.
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) December 17, 2023
#17
Yesterday one of my sons was caught drafting an email enquiry to a farm about a donkey called Basil. His plan was to buy Basil and hide him in the side alley by our house.
— Dr Ollie Douglas (@OllieDouglas) December 16, 2023
#18
We have a Christmas Eve party and my 25 year old said, “We can’t stay too late bc you have to be back to set out Santa when we all go to bed.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 23, 2023
Me, “Santa? As in, Clause? Be serious. Y’all are grown!”
But for real I can’t stay late bc I have to do Santa once the kids go to bed.
#19
6 yo lost a tooth, but is planning to wait until Christmas Eve to put it under his pillow. That way, Santa and the tooth fairy will converge at our house…
— Katie M. (@katiemahood2) December 21, 2023
Does something special happen if they converge? Anyone know what the protocol is here? 🤣
#21
Shout out to my brother who arrived at our parents’ house first and bravely tracked down the wifi info for the rest of us
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 23, 2023
#22
8-year-old: Can we go somewhere to see Santa?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 22, 2023
Me: You don't believe in Santa.
8: I believe in presents.
#23
Moms, 2 weeks before Christmas: I don’t want anything for Christmas. Seriously.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 23, 2023
Moms, 2 days before Christmas: For Christmas I want face moisturizer only sold in France.
#24
Overheard my 7yo telling my 2.5yo “you can always tell which presents are from Santa and which are from mom because mom is not good at wrapping and Santa is perfect at it” and I’m not going to lie this has really broken my brain.
— kelly andrew (@KayAyDrew) December 23, 2023
#25
My 6 year old wanted to tell me something but was adamant she couldn't say it in our house.
— April Ajoy (@aprilajoyr) December 20, 2023
So we get in the car and she says:
"Mommy, I don't think Santa is real but I didn't want to say it in front of Cheeks because it would upset him."
Cheeks is our Elf on the Shelf.
