Top 20 Best Tweets From the Hilarious “Be Kind of Witty”

My husband suggests that I sleep when we take road trips but then who would give him helpful information like, “the light is red!” or “that car is stopping!”?

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) February 21, 2022

Told my kids I couldn’t find the hot cocoa powder to which my 4yo said, “maybe someone took it and hid it behind my bed” which is a suspiciously specific theory.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 27, 2023

“You knew what you were getting into when you had children”

Did I? Did I know that I’d be arguing with a 4yo that we don’t lick peoples feet? DID I KNOW THAT?

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) January 25, 2022

Prayers for my husband, he married one of those “it’s my birthday month” people.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 1, 2022

My friend apologized to her husband for the lame dinner she was making and he responded that he was just happy she fed him and that is the only correct response.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 17, 2022

Like an alarm clock but it’s your toddler standing next to your bed with a mascara wand whispering “I make you beautiful”.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) September 17, 2023

Gentle parenting says we should only yell when our kids are at risk of being hurt but I have three boys so that’s like 90% of the time.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) September 11, 2022

Told my 6yo he was a sweet soul and now every time he says something nice he says “I really am a sweet soul” so guess we’re working on humility next.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 7, 2022

Me: So you’re saying my Kindergartener is resourceful, thinks outside the box, & practices self-care?

Teacher: No, I’m saying he put his classmates’ coats on the floor so he could take a nap.

Me: I feel like we’re saying the same thing, no?

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) February 7, 2022

Husband snuck off for a nap but I thought he was using the bathroom. He was gone for 45 minutes. I suspected nothing.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) September 27, 2022

My 4yo pointed out that there are more kids than parents in our family and he was concerned that we might need more adults and he’s right.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) July 22, 2022

My 4yo smashed a spider with his bare hand and I’ll be giving him whatever he asks for because he’s both my hero and also a little bit terrifying.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) May 23, 2022

Asked my husband if he’d put air in my tire and he started explaining how to do it like he’s never been married to me before.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) November 16, 2022

I’m not a helicopter parent because I’m worried about my kids’ safety, I’m a helicopter parent because one time I took my eyes off of them for 3 minutes and they flooded my kitchen with a garden hose.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) May 28, 2023

I knew it was a bad idea to give my 4yo chocolate chips before bed but “because he might put one up his nose” was not one of the reasons I anticipated.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 24, 2022

My 4yo just said “you can buy whatever you want and you don’t even have to tell anyone” and so he’s my life coach now.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) October 11, 2022

My son walked into summer camp, said, “too many people!” and then walked back out and honestly…I get it.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) June 28, 2022

Told my husband I ate too many cupcakes. He asked me if I had TWO, and it seems we have VERY different opinions on what ‘too many cupcakes’ means.

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) February 2, 2023

My 6yo likes to do “experiments” where he mostly plays with water in the sink so I added some dish soap and dirty dishes because when life hands you lemons…

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) August 10, 2022

🎶 He’s making a list…
He’s checking it twice…
He left it at home.
He’s texting his wife 🎶

— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) December 14, 2022