21 of the Funniest Tweets About Thanksgiving

Shoutout to everyone forcing their families to live on PB&Js all week because ALL THE FOOD IS FOR THANKSGIVING DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH IT

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) November 21, 2018

Right now there is an aunt buying all the ingredients for that thing she brings every Thanksgiving that everyone in the family hates.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 14, 2022

I ordered side dishes from Cracker Barrel to take to my mom’s for Thanksgiving and when I asked if they would be hot at pick-up the lady said, “Are you taking to someone’s house? Bc it’s going to say Cracker Barrel on the pan so bring dishes.”

Good God that’s customer service.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 26, 2019

My husband said for Thanksgiving this year, he just wants to stay home as a family, never change out of our pajamas and watch movies and take naps all day.
I have literally never been so turned on.

— Mommy Meme Jeans (@mommymemejeans) October 29, 2019

I wonder how long I’ll be at Thanksgiving dinner before my mom asks me to fix her computer.

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) November 25, 2019

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 20, 2022

Fun fact: The most powerful person in any family is the person who tells the other family members what to bring to Thanksgiving dinner.

— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) November 22, 2019

I asked my husband to add some things that we need for Thanksgiving to the shopping list. When I got to the store I realized he’d just written ‘thanksgiving stuff,’ and if that doesn’t perfectly sum up marriage then I don’t know what does.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 19, 2022

No one in my family takes me seriously when I ask them how many potato courses there will be at Thanksgiving.

— Marissa 💚🦃💛 (@michimama75) November 20, 2022

Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2020

4-year-old: Can we have pizza for Thanksgiving?

Me: The pilgrims didn't eat pizza.

4: Their dad was probably mean, too.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 22, 2016

Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 19, 2022

It's cute how the grocery store cashier told me to have a great Thanksgiving like I won't be back to the store six more times in the next seven days.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 16, 2018

My Kids’ Top 5 Favorite Thanksgiving Dishes:
1. Half a dinner roll
2.
3.
4.
5.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 28, 2019

Thanksgiving Pro Tip:
Never eat any food offered to you by an adorable toddler relative. It might look like a cookie, or piece of candy, but it’s actually the flu.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 22, 2017

If I ever wondered if I was a good cook or a bad cook:

My mom asked me to bring cash for Thanksgiving to help reimburse the grocery bill. Not sweet potato soufflé or macaroni and cheese or even ice. Cash.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 24, 2021

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5ks on holiday mornings.

— TWEETS ABOUT WINE (@wwlwine) October 26, 2019

I would like to remind my Thanksgiving guests the embellished hand towels in my powder room are for admiration purposes only.

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) November 25, 2019

The Nelsons have inflated a large plastic turkey in their front yard. I have called the police.

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) November 16, 2019

The road to Hell is paved with boxed stuffing mix.

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) November 22, 2018

🦃Dear Thanksgiving Guests,

If a store-bought pie crosses my threshold on Thursday, I will consider it a micro aggression.

MT

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) November 20, 2017