25 Funny and Relatable Tweets For Some Thanksgiving Laughs

I ordered side dishes from Cracker Barrel to take to my mom’s for Thanksgiving and when I asked if they would be hot at pick-up the lady said, “Are you taking to someone’s house? Bc it’s going to say Cracker Barrel on the pan so bring dishes.”

Good God that’s customer service.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 26, 2019

My wife asked me to go to the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving so I guess this is goodbye.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 23, 2022

I don’t want to sit at the adult table at Thanksgiving and talk about things like mortgage rates. I want to sit at the grandparent table and talk about things like how hard it is to drive at night.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 20, 2023

forever grateful, this year and every year, that my family does not do a 5k, play touch football, or do any kind of physical activity whatsoever on thanksgiving

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 25, 2021

I wonder how long I’ll be at Thanksgiving dinner before my mom asks me to fix her computer.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) November 25, 2019

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 20, 2022

Fun fact: The most powerful person in any family is the person who tells the other family members what to bring to Thanksgiving dinner.

— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) November 22, 2019

I asked my husband to add some things that we need for Thanksgiving to the shopping list. When I got to the store I realized he’d just written ‘thanksgiving stuff,’ and if that doesn’t perfectly sum up marriage then I don’t know what does.

— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) November 19, 2022

No one in my family takes me seriously when I ask them how many potato courses there will be at Thanksgiving.

— Marissa 💚🦃💛 (@michimama75) November 20, 2022

Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2020

4-year-old: Can we have pizza for Thanksgiving?

Me: The pilgrims didn't eat pizza.

4: Their dad was probably mean, too.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 22, 2016

Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 19, 2022

My Kids’ Top 5 Favorite Thanksgiving Dishes:
1. Half a dinner roll
2.
3.
4.
5.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 28, 2019

When I was your age we used to have to sleep on the sidewalk outside of Best Buy on Thanksgiving night just to fight a grandma at 5 AM to save $30 on a Nintendo Wii.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2022

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5ks on holiday mornings.

— TWEETS ABOUT WINE (@wwlwine) October 26, 2019

My parents are hosting 10 people on Thanksgiving so naturally my dad is outside making sure there is not one single leaf on the lawn.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) November 21, 2023

The road to Hell is paved with boxed stuffing mix.

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) November 22, 2018

My body on Thanksgiving: please may I have some water??

Me: best I can do is shotgun 3 deviled eggs and wash it down with homemade gravy

— Marissa 💚🦃💛 (@michimama75) November 24, 2023

Going to Trader Joe’s the week before Thanksgiving is like a suburban middle class Hunger Games.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 20, 2023

thanksgiving is kind of stressful because you can’t trust just anyone to make mashed potatoes. I can tell by just looking at a person that they won’t use enough butter

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 23, 2023

Fun Fact: All the confetti thrown during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is cut from a single CVS receipt.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 24, 2022

this is late but my favorite part of thanksgiving is when tier 2 family leaves and tier 1 immediately gathers around talking shit about them

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 27, 2021

I’m in the kitchen baking for Thanksgiving, so naturally my kids have decided to build a fort in here and my husband is helping by standing in front of the stove.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) November 22, 2023

Right now there is an aunt buying all the ingredients for that thing she brings every Thanksgiving that everyone in the family hates.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 17, 2016

Thanksgiving Pro Tip:
Never eat any food offered to you by an adorable toddler relative. It might look like a cookie, or piece of candy, but it’s actually the flu.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 22, 2017