25 Hilarious Thanksgiving Tweets Every Family Will Relate To

forever grateful, this year and every year, that my family does not do a 5k, play touch football, or do any kind of physical activity whatsoever on thanksgiving

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 25, 2021

My wife asked me to go to the grocery store on the day before Thanksgiving so I guess this is goodbye.

— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) November 23, 2022

I wonder how long I’ll be at Thanksgiving dinner before my mom asks me to fix her computer.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) November 25, 2019

I ordered side dishes from Cracker Barrel to take to my mom’s for Thanksgiving and when I asked if they would be hot at pick-up the lady said, “Are you taking to someone’s house? Bc it’s going to say Cracker Barrel on the pan so bring dishes.”

Good God that’s customer service.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 26, 2019

always very funny to me when people get all dressed up for thanksgiving. you’re going to stand around your nana’s house do we really need to be doing business casual here

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 28, 2024

Fun fact: The most powerful person in any family is the person who tells the other family members what to bring to Thanksgiving dinner.

— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) November 22, 2019

No one in my family takes me seriously when I ask them how many potato courses there will be at Thanksgiving.

— Marissa 💚🤶🏼🎄💛 (@michimama75) November 20, 2022

Pretty excited about making a huge Thanksgiving feast so my daughter can eat a roll.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2020

4-year-old: Can we have pizza for Thanksgiving?

Me: The pilgrims didn't eat pizza.

4: Their dad was probably mean, too.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 22, 2016

Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 19, 2022

My Kids’ Top 5 Favorite Thanksgiving Dishes:
1. Half a dinner roll
2.
3.
4.
5.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) November 28, 2019

When I was your age we used to have to sleep on the sidewalk outside of Best Buy on Thanksgiving night just to fight a grandma at 5 AM to save $30 on a Nintendo Wii.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2022

Before you marry someone, find out if their family drinks mimosas or runs 5ks on holiday mornings.

— TWEETS ABOUT WINE (@wwlwine) October 26, 2019

My parents are hosting 10 people on Thanksgiving so naturally my dad is outside making sure there is not one single leaf on the lawn.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) November 21, 2023

The road to Hell is paved with boxed stuffing mix.

— Myrna Tellingheusen (@PearlsFromMyrna) November 22, 2018

My body on Thanksgiving: please may I have some water??

Me: best I can do is shotgun 3 deviled eggs and wash it down with homemade gravy

— Marissa 💚🤶🏼🎄💛 (@michimama75) November 24, 2023

Going to Trader Joe’s the week before Thanksgiving is like a suburban middle class Hunger Games.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 20, 2023

thanksgiving is kind of stressful because you can’t trust just anyone to make mashed potatoes. I can tell by just looking at a person that they won’t use enough butter

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 23, 2023

Fun Fact: All the confetti thrown during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is cut from a single CVS receipt.

— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) November 24, 2022

this is late but my favorite part of thanksgiving is when tier 2 family leaves and tier 1 immediately gathers around talking shit about them

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) November 27, 2021

I’m in the kitchen baking for Thanksgiving, so naturally my kids have decided to build a fort in here and my husband is helping by standing in front of the stove.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) November 22, 2023

If I ever wondered if I was a good cook or a bad cook:

My mom asked me to bring cash for Thanksgiving to help reimburse the grocery bill. Not sweet potato soufflé or macaroni and cheese or even ice. Cash.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) November 24, 2021

At Thanksgiving this year, my baby received endless compliments on her fat rolls. But mine? Not a one.

— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) November 24, 2023

Just found a pair of my underwear in with my linen napkins. That would’ve spiced up Thanksgiving this year.

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) November 22, 2023

every year, thanksgiving is just a reminder that I cannot be left alone with french onion dip

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) November 28, 2024

Thanksgiving Pro Tip:
Never eat any food offered to you by an adorable toddler relative. It might look like a cookie, or piece of candy, but it’s actually the flu.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 22, 2017