When it comes to dads, there’s so much funny material out there – both by dads and about dads.
I’ve rounded up the best tweets about all things dad-related…hope they bring you some laughs!
Janene
#1
Apologies to our waitress Amy who said to my dad, “wanna box for the leftovers?” and he replied, “no, but I’ll wrestle you for them” hope we tipped enough
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) July 7, 2024
#2
My husband bought a stud finder and didn’t put it to his chest to see if it works. Someone come take his dad card away.
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) December 4, 2023
#3
A rival dad told me to make myself at home while we were at his house so I adjusted the thermostat.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 7, 2022
#4
There’s a man at the playground with such an impressive dad voice that when he yelled “PUT IT DOWN” I automatically dropped my book
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 5, 2025
#5
Dads only want one thing and it’s to immediately collect the torn wrapping paper for their giant trash bags on Christmas morning
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) December 20, 2021
#6
Trying to gossip with your dad is so hard bc first you have to introduce the characters, then give the plot line, then dish him the dets & THEN you have to repeat it again bc he wasn’t listening the first time.
— Belle Williams (@IsabelWilliams0) August 1, 2018
#7
Dads love to walk into the room when you’re watching TV and say “what’s this rubbish” and then just stand there in the corner and watch whatever it is until it’s over
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) December 23, 2023
#8
Finished off a roll of wrapping paper so I bonked the nearest family member on the head with the tube because them’s the rules.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) November 5, 2021
#9
Accidentally activated “vacation dad” by telling my husband there is construction on our way to the airport…we are now leaving at 3 am for a 5 pm flight. We live 20 mins away.
— floorboard (@StruggleDisplay) August 3, 2022
#10
Dads be like:
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) June 16, 2024
I’m really proud you’re getting your own place. It’s now time we have the talk.
Dewalt and Ryobi and others all have an exclusive battery system and you’ll want to just commit to one…
#11
Dads be like have you sprayed WD-40 about it?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 14, 2022
#12
my husband keeps telling everyone i messed up his breakfast bc i forgot to make him toast so he got mad at me because he’s “lack-toast intolerant” and then laughs and laughs
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 27, 2023
they dont warn you about endless dad jokes, they should, but they dont
#13
Midwest dads:
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) September 3, 2019
gets bill at restaurant: "what’s the damage”
tightens strap on back of truck: “that’s not going anywhere”
flips over a piece of meat on the grill: “oh yeah that’s money right there”
asked what time it is: “time for you to get a watch”
answers the phone: “YELLO”
#14
My dad was just introduced to Venmo and it's the worst thing ever. He just requested $50 for "2001 tee ball registration fee"
— Adam Jacob (@Adamjacobbbb) August 15, 2017
#15
Dads, it finally happened!
— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) September 8, 2022
My wife needed two cables today and I went to my box of random old cables and immediately found them!
Bask in this moment of validation, fellas. This is for all of us!
#16
Did the whole “Hi hungry, I’m dad” routine on my 5yo for the first time and she thought it was hilarious. It only works once so I’ll be chasing that high for the rest of my life.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) July 12, 2020
#17
Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) October 10, 2020
#18
Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) June 19, 2022
#19
Dads love announcing to everyone the name of the river they are crossing on a road trip.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 29, 2024
#20
Dads just want one thing and it’s to have everyone believe they’re just resting their eyes when they are clearly sleeping
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 15, 2021
#21
My parents are hosting 10 people on Thanksgiving so naturally my dad is outside making sure there is not one single leaf on the lawn.
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) November 21, 2023
#22
My father's New Balance collection, from going out in public to lawn mowing pic.twitter.com/Q1gPE359st
— cameron (@cameronfromncl) July 22, 2019
#23
My dad told my daughter she was the best duster ever then leaned in to me and whispered “if you tell kids they’re amazing at the chore they don’t bitch about doing it” and suddenly I’m questioning if I really was the most amazing weed-puller he ever saw
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 18, 2024
#24
the wife told me that we're invited to a country themed party so I'm wearing this pic.twitter.com/qa89NxtclK
— 🌜🤷♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) August 23, 2024
#25
