20 of the Funniest Tweets From Parents of 8-Year-Olds

8-year-old: How are you feeling today, Dad?

Me: Are you asking because you care, or because you're deciding if you should tell me bad news?

8: I dropped a whole apple in the toilet.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 16, 2022

My 8yo just said she’s “lactose intelligent,” so hit her up with any pressing dairy questions.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 5, 2018

My 8yo had his hair styled nicely this morning so I asked what he put in it to look so good……and he said it was oil from the pan I roasted broccoli in last night.

You really can’t make this stuff up.

— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) June 6, 2023

8-year-old: The tooth fairy forgot to come last night.

Me: Oops. Sorry.

8: Why are you sorry? It's not your fault.

Me: You're right. Stupid tooth fairy.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 13, 2021

“Ooohhh is that a charcuterie board?” -my 8 year old having a much different childhood than I did

— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) December 21, 2024

8 year old: we’re learning about ancient Rome at school

me: awesome! I’ve actually been to the Colosseum

8 year old: did you watch the people fighting?

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 23, 2024

We have friends coming from the Netherlands. My 8yo kept asking if their kids have grown. We couldn’t understand why she was fixated on this.

Neverland. She thought they were from Neverland.

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 26, 2023

Him, 8, touching my calloused big toe:
“What is this, concrete?”

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) April 25, 2024

8yo: daddy what’s your best talent?

me: hmm I don’t know, maybe being a dad?

8yo: no that’s not it

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) November 19, 2022

Should I be disturbed by the way my 8-year-old daughter plays doctor? I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time.

— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 5, 2024

Watching Home Alone with my 8 year old twins.

One of them is cackling like a hyena every time a paint can smashes the face of the would be burglars.

The other is sitting with a concerned look on his face saying things like “well that doesn’t seem safe”

— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) December 24, 2024

My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.

You, dude. You are the reason.

— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) September 11, 2022

I asked my 8yo if he liked my sleeveless blouse, he said "the color's fine, but I don't like public armpits" 😭 Public. Armpits. It's going straight to Goodwill

— sarah (@sarahradz_) May 13, 2024

My 8yo has somehow acquired a day planner. This isn’t going to end well.

8yo: Mom, can we go to McDonald’s on August 24th?

Me: ummm…I don’t know, maybe?

8yo: *clicks pen*

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 22, 2024

Somehow I’ve lucked out and have an 8yo who thinks secretly reading under the covers past her bedtime is an act of rebellion, and it hasn’t yet occurred to her that her flashlights never seem to run out of batteries.

— Robert McNees (@mcnees) August 13, 2020

My 8 year old asked if I’d seen his water bottle and I said it was next to the couch. He started to walk off then paused and asked, “the couch for sitting or the couch for laundry?” and the accuracy of the question stung a little.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 29, 2024

Just overheard my eight-year-old son tell the little boy who lives across the street, “You have to go now. I’ve hit my limit for being around other people today.”

— Rebecca Papin (@RebeccaPapin) July 16, 2023

My 8 year old told me a boy proposed at school and she accepted and honestly this will be her second marriage so I told her she’s going to get a reputation.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) May 25, 2023

My daughter apparently submitted a handwritten cover letter and resume to the daycare attached to her school to apply for a job working with the toddlers. She said she has 8 years of experience.

She's 8 years old.

— star•gyal (@beequammie) April 21, 2023