25 Hilariously Spot-On Tweets That All Moms Can Relate To

Erma Bombeck once said “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

Being a mom is a never-ending, exhausting, emotional roller-coaster…and also the best thing I’ve ever done.

A sense of humor is a must and knowing you are not alone always helps too.

To that end, I’ve rounded up 20 funny and spot-on truths about motherhood…hope you can relate!

Janene

#1

*Mary Poppins voice*
Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
*Batman voice*
I said let's go.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 5, 2015

#2

If you look closely at the circles around a mother's eyes, you can count how many years she's lived without sleep.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 30, 2017

#3

my mom is always like “I’d still love you if you MURDERED someone” and it’s like ok is that a dare
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 23, 2022

#4

Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 10, 2018

#5

I don’t know who needs to hear this but THE KITCHEN SCISSORS STAY IN THE KITCHEN
— Lovely Potatoes (@robin_991) January 17, 2022

#6

No one prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent wiping down countertops.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 9, 2023

#7

The best way to infuriate a mom is to open a second box of something when there's still a box of the same thing already open.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2016

#8

I'm the kind of mom who burns one side of the grilled cheese, serves it to her kid with the non-burned side up, and crosses her fingers.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) May 26, 2017

#9

moms are like, “I’m going to go rest for a little bit” and then pay bills, make doctor’s appointments and put away the laundry
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 2, 2022

#10

My mom asked me if I had extra plastic bags, and as I dug into my plastic bag filled with 345 more plastic bags, I knew that this was my moment to shine.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 18, 2019

#11

I like to send little notes in my kid’s lunchbox, like “Sorry the Wheat Thins are stale, that’s what happens when you leave the box open.”
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) October 8, 2018

#12

You're going to miss this, I whisper to myself as I'm shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 26, 2018

#13

Whenever there's a baby delivered in a TV show, moms are required to say, "That's not a newborn."
— A Dad Influence (@gbergan) October 3, 2022

#14

I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 31, 2019

#15

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can't find it.

Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.
— Stay at Homie (@stayathomies) January 8, 2020

#16

I accidentally used my mom’s fabric scissors to cut wrapping paper and now the cops are here
— Dan Duvall (@DanDuvallComedy) December 22, 2022

#17

I’m writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 23, 2022

#18

My kid just introduced me to a new friend who is at our house as “this is my mom… she never sits down. It’s super weird”
— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) October 3, 2022

#19

The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 9, 2017

#20

I spent my time making a home cooked meal and placed it in front of the kids who immediately asked for something different and laughed. Then I laughed. Then we laughed. Then I spoke in a voice not of this world and everyone ate their damn dinner.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 4, 2022

#21

Spent ten minutes scrubbing the wall thinking my kids left a huge stain on it and then realized it was my own shadow. I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) January 14, 2021

#22

If you have ever done me wrong, just know that my Mom knows, she'll never forget & she doesn't like you. ☠💀
— Sadie 🖤 (@SadieJJ) February 12, 2023

#23

Dolly Parton wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day and I’ve been “getting ready to put away laundry” for the past five or six days.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 9, 2022

#24

My kid asked me to hold her ice cream without eating any and I was like, I love you kid but some lessons you have to learn the hard way
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 10, 2022

#25

And then God said, "yes Julie. You deserve $13 for opening the dryer on this Saturday morning. You do laundry for four people." pic.twitter.com/ykAWPTMcNM
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) August 12, 2017

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25

For more laughs on parenthood, check out 25 Hilarious Tweets From “Mommy Needs a Life”

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