20 Hilariously Spot-On Tweets That All Moms Can Relate To

My mom has a podcast but you can only hear it if you have the password to my voicemail

— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) July 17, 2018

If you look closely at the circles around a mother's eyes, you can count how many years she's lived without sleep.

— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 30, 2017

my mom is always like “I’d still love you if you MURDERED someone” and it’s like ok is that a dare

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 23, 2022

Just remembering all the times when my mom would be like “you guys and your dad go without me, I’ll just stay here and read” and we truly felt sorry for her and WAIT A MINUTE

— Amber Sparks (@ambernoelle) August 22, 2021

I don’t know who needs to hear this but THE KITCHEN SCISSORS STAY IN THE KITCHEN

— Lovely Potatoes (@robin_991) January 17, 2022

No one prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent wiping down countertops.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 9, 2023

The best way to infuriate a mom is to open a second box of something when there's still a box of the same thing already open.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2016

Sometimes I like to mess with my family and hide their stuff where they can't find it.

Like I put their shoes in the shoe closet, their jacket on a hanger and their keys on the key hook.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) January 8, 2020

moms are like, “I’m going to go rest for a little bit” and then pay bills, make doctor’s appointments and put away the laundry

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 2, 2022

My mom asked me if I had extra plastic bags, and as I dug into my plastic bag filled with 345 more plastic bags, I knew that this was my moment to shine.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 18, 2019

I went to my Mom's house for Mother's Day with a gift and a pie, I left my Mom's house with some junk mail, JCPenney coupons and a different pie.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) May 10, 2021

It’s adorable when my mom says “It’s your mom” on my voicemail like I’ve never heard her voice before.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) October 5, 2022

Whenever there's a baby delivered in a TV show, moms are required to say, "That's not a newborn."

— A Dad Influence (@gbergan) October 3, 2022

I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 31, 2019

*Mary Poppins voice*
Ok, children! Time to go!
[15 min later]
*Batman voice*
I said let's go.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 5, 2015

I accidentally used my mom’s fabric scissors to cut wrapping paper and now the cops are here

— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) December 22, 2022

I’m writing a fantasy fiction novel about a mom that has a cold and her family does things for themselves while she rests.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) November 23, 2022

My kid just introduced me to a new friend who is at our house as “this is my mom… she never sits down. It’s super weird”

— Deena Lang (@itsdeenalang) October 3, 2022

The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) November 9, 2017

If you have ever done me wrong, just know that my Mom knows, she'll never forget & she doesn't like you. ☠💀

— Sadie 🖤 (@SadieJJ) February 12, 2023