If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
Parenting is when my son finally fell asleep in the stroller today two blocks from home and I thought "I just need nothing to wake him up before we get back" right as I looked up and saw a marching band walking straight towards us
— Abam (@AdamBroud) October 28, 2018
#2
I wish I had the confidence of 7yo me when the Sunday school teacher asked who knows what Lent is and I horshackly raised my hand to say the fuzzy stuff in the dryer filter.
— Terri Paella Piñata (@terrip38) March 27, 2024
#3
The kids were asking me what time they were all born and I said the youngest was born at 1:29am, and they all agreed that it must have been nice that she just came out while I was sleeping.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) July 30, 2024
#4
My 14 yo just told me I was embarrassing her. We were the only two people in the room.
— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) February 3, 2022
Parenting achievement unlocked.
#5
they need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. i have to know what goes on in there
— trash jones (@jzux) December 3, 2024
#6
My son told me it’s time for me to wax my upper lip and I told him to stop being jealous my ‘stache is better than his.
— Shattered Table Taco (@bgschnikelfritz) October 19, 2023
#7
3yo: Why do we have a room just for the toilet and the bath?
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 12, 2023
Me: So people can have privacy when they’re going to the bathroom or taking a shower.
3yo: Why would someone want that?
I think I’m beginning to understand the root of much of our disconnect.
#8
Well well well, if it isn’t me getting takeout after spending $300 on groceries.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) April 12, 2022
#9
one time recently i said i wanted to make our house smell good and my boyfriend said “okay i’ll do some research”
— erin (@maizie_star) December 12, 2024
#10
5yo: I WILL WEAR MY WHITE DRESS TO THE WEDDING ON FRIDAY
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) April 30, 2024
Me: Um, how about your blue one? People don’t usually wear white to—
5yo: I WANT TO LOOK LIKE THE BRIDE
#11
Doctor: “Ok, now just breathe normally”
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) December 7, 2024
Me: *immediately forgets how to breathe*
#12
You’re not living your best parenting life until you’ve launched a toy out the front door to stop your kids from fighting over it.
— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) December 4, 2017
#13 This is totally me…
One thing about me is I’m probably gonna say hi to your dog before I say hi to you
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) December 4, 2024
#14
My wife and I eloped, but a month later we had a small party to celebrate with family and friends. Somewhere on the invitation we wrote, “bring an appetite,” which my wife’s Uncle Jerry misread as “bring an appetizer.” He showed up at the venue with a crockpot of enchiladas.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 5, 2024
#15
Some day, a guy is gonna see me eating a whole baguette with my bare hands in my parked car and think "That's her, she's the one".
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) April 20, 2022
#16
50% of Roger Federer‘s name is “er”
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) July 2, 2022
#17
We all agree that laundry washing day and laundry putting away day are not the same day, right?
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) January 30, 2021
#18
Do u ever look in the mirror and just hope it isn't accurate
— Funny Snarky Humor (@FUNNYsnarkyJOKE) April 29, 2024
#19
Pulling out of the driveway for a two-hour car ride to visit family.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) July 23, 2023
My 5yo from the backseat: “Don’t turn the radio on, Mama. I brought my harmonica so I can play you music.”
#20
— Heckin Good Dogs (@HeckinGoodDogs) January 21, 2025
