25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys

my son asked for a new hoodie for Christmas, so for convenience and to save time I'm having it shipped directly to his girlfriend's house

— 🌜🤷‍♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷‍♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) November 25, 2023

Me: My daughters are fighting non stop this summer.
Parent with sons: My boys tore off our garage door yesterday and painted 1/5 of our house orange.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 19, 2022

My son on why Caleb is his best friend at kindergarten: "He doesn't really speak English, so we can skip all the talking and just get right to the karate."

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 1, 2021

My 9yo son as I dropped him off at school, "time to make some money!" Apparently he's selling his Halloween candy to the kids who aren't allowed to have candy at home.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 3, 2022

Moms of little boys — go ahead and soak up that sweet baby boy smell, because in a few years his feet will stink so badly you'll pull the car over, convinced there's a rotting raccoon carcass in it.

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) May 3, 2018

Discovered that when 10yo boys go on a school trip for 3 days, there’s no laundry when they come back because they’re unaware they can actually change their clothes

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 24, 2022

Last night, my 3 year old kicked me during a tantrum. As I tucked him in bed later, he apologized. "I'll never kick you again," he said, pulling me in closer and kissing my cheek. "Just do exactly what I tell you to do and I'll never have to kick you again." My son is a mobster.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 4, 2019

Son: Mom you look like you're 20 …
Me: Awwwww
Son: … thousand years old.

— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) July 11, 2016

What’s it like having 4 boys?

My son just threw a waffle into the ceiling fan so he could see what would happen, with all of his brothers cheering him on.

Send help.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) November 3, 2021

Congratulations on your new baby boy! You will be finding Nerf bullets in strange places for the next 20 years.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 11, 2019

Raising boys means checking under your pillow before you go to bed every night to make sure they didn’t hide their toy snake there again.

— Unfiltered Mama 💗✌️ (@UnfilteredMama) August 22, 2018

According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 27, 2017

How to clean your bathroom when you're a boy mom: 1) Douse the toilet with gasoline. 2) Light it on fire.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 7, 2016

Please pray for my son as he was recently asked to try on a pair of dress shoes.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 25, 2019

My son when I tell him to smile vs when I yell out “poop!” pic.twitter.com/ui6TuPOaC5

— Adam Perry (@misterperry) September 14, 2022

My son interrupted my phone call to tell me that he was going to die of boredom. I informed him that was impossible since I'm still alive after listening to him talk about Minecraft for the last 5 years.

— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) June 7, 2021

I’ve been trying to figure out which of the boys in our home is causing the bathroom mess. The mystery was solved when my 9yr old just bragged to us about how he can pee with his eyes shut.

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) June 18, 2019

Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 29, 2020

You're going to miss this, I whisper to myself as I'm shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet.

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 26, 2018

My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, “I love trains.”

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 16, 2022

Them: What’s it like raising a boy?

Me: I have a 12ft ceiling in my living room and there’s chili on it

— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) April 10, 2022

I follow a mom on Instagram who has five boys just to see if she survives

— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) November 22, 2022

Boy moms are the best because I’ll be like “my boy is out of control sometimes” and they’ll be like “my boy tore down a whole wall in our house” and it always makes me feel better.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) September 4, 2019

If I can pee into a tiny cup at the doctor’s office that I have to hold myself, why can’t boys pee into a giant bowl bolted to the floor?

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) September 11, 2022

My wife teaches 8th grade, which means half the boys haven’t discovered deodorant yet and the other half have discovered Axe Body Spray

— TwinzerDad (@TwinzerDad) September 3, 2023