20 Funny Tweets Every Woman Will Relate To

I just think it would be better for everyone if the people who make adhesive for maxi pads and the people who make adhesive for bookstore price stickers switched jobs

— Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) January 16, 2024

When did we all decide that women don’t want the second half of the shirt anymore? Did I miss that meeting??

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 4, 2024

Me, writing an email:

I'm using an exclamation point so you know I'm friendly and excited! But now I'm using a period so that you know I'm not crazy. Here's another sentence with a period as a buffer, proving my normalness. Thanks so much!

— Grace Segers (@Grace_Segers) October 24, 2019

Hmm yes I’m fully aware that the gynecologist is about to look inside my body but I’ll continue hiding my bra and underwear under my folded jeans thank you

— Sam Reece (@ItSamReece) December 26, 2020

I was really cranky and my husband asked if I was about to get my period and I said “JUST BC A WOMAN IS CRANKY DOESN’T MEAN SHE’S ABOUT TO GET HER PERIOD” but then I did get my period and I had to pretend I didn’t get my period so I didn’t have to admit that’s why I was cranky

— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 11, 2021

I accidentally squeezed out conditioner first. I held it in my palm and, with my other hand, squeezed shampoo onto my wrist, scooped it up and washed my hair with one hand. Then I used the conditioner.

Guys reading this have no idea why, but most women are like, “I get it.”

— Becky Vieira | Witty Otter (@wittyotter_) March 31, 2021

A woman cut in front of me at the store with a box of tampons, ice cream, and wine in her cart. I wasn’t about to mess with that situation.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) November 1, 2016

We need a Disney Princess who’s going through menopause.

— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 25, 2021

If I complain about being out of shape I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) March 6, 2021

My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.

You, dude. You are the reason.

— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) September 11, 2022

Had a repairman over for a quote, and as I was explaining the issue, my husband walked in, and suddenly the repairman couldn’t see or hear me. But that’s okay, he had a nice conversation with my husband and I hired someone else to do the job.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 1, 2022

My husband didn’t have Snapchat so I convinced him to download it “because it will be fun!” and the first request he received was from his ex-girlfriend, so I deleted my husband’s Snapchat bc what grown man needs a stupid Snapchat anyway.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 17, 2018

I sometimes enjoy dressing up and going out to socialize, but dear God, is there a simpler joy on this planet other than sitting ugly, bra-less and comfortable in your own home covered in corn chip crumbs? 5/5 Highly recommend.

— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) June 26, 2019

Behind every great man is the drawer I need to get into why are you even in the kitchen right now

— human aaron (@humanaaron) August 29, 2020

The mechanic asked if I needed to call my husband before buying new tires for my car, so I asked him where the rotary phone was so I could call the 1950s

— meghan (@deloisivete) February 11, 2023

I never buy chips because then I’ll eat them, so instead I look in my pantry everyday and am disappointed that I don’t have any chips.

— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) August 27, 2018

I know it’s time to clean out my purse when my car assumes it’s a second passenger who’s not wearing their seatbelt.

— Close to Classy (@closetoclassy) July 9, 2019

“when was your last menstrual period?” crazy you think I would know that when I don’t even know what day it is

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) August 3, 2022

Welcome to middle age. You now get stuck in clothes. Godspeed removing that top without dislocating your shoulder.

— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) July 19, 2023