25 Funny Tweets From Parents Who Have Had Enough

Whether we are raising boys, girls, one child or ten, toddlers or teens, all parents have this in common: once in a while we just need a break.

Some parents hide in the laundry room with their secret stash of chocolate (shh…don’t tell my family), some go for a drive, and others tweet about it and make the rest of us laugh and nod our heads in solidarity.

I’ve rounded up some very funny, sarcastic, and relatable quips about parenting that just make us feel we are not alone. Enjoy!

Janene

#1

Someday, God willing, I will attend my children’s weddings, refuse to eat what they serve and demand butter noodles and nuggets.
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) July 17, 2022

#2

My kid had a sleepover and in the morning I offered to make waffles, but the friend said they couldn’t eat gluten or sugar or dairy, so I offered scrambled eggs and this kid goes…”Do you have duck eggs?”
Um. I’m sorry child this is not Scotland 1745, it’s my house.
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) December 7, 2019

#3

I was in a family bathroom and as my 4yo unlocked the door my 2yo pushed the handicap button right as I started to pee so I had to watch the door slowly open knowing that I couldn't get up and I peed with the door wide open. I'm so blessed to have kids.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) October 1, 2019

#4

My son's superpower is to turn 1 cracker into 10 lbs of crumbs
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) August 9, 2013

#5

I just watched my son get a knot out of his shoelace with the tine of a fork and then put it back in the silverware drawer and OMG! HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE DONE THIS?!
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 11, 2022

#6

My 7yo son made me a cup of coffee that somehow taste like beef stew.

“Mommy, I put a sprinkle of that brown stuff in it like you”

The brown stuff I use is cinnamon. The brown stuff he used was dry rub seasoning.

I can’t wait for these kids to go to my mama house today.
— Princess | Mindfulness | Conscious Parenting (@themultiplemom) May 6, 2023

#7

My daughter turned 5 today. She is currently having a meltdown bc she “still looks 4”
— *sigh*clops (@aotakeo) February 7, 2021

#8

Have kids, they said pic.twitter.com/g3ilWo9Jwb
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 24, 2021

#9

Hey if you could spare a prayer for my 2-year-old right now, his granola bar wrapper was pulled down slightly too low and it’s unclear if a recovery from this is possible.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) December 9, 2021

#10

Raising kids is like being constantly surrounded by a tiny sales team.

They’re always trying to persuade you into doing or buying something. And they assume everything you say is just an opening offer.
— Becky Vieira | Witty Otter (@wittyotter_) October 5, 2019

#11

Legend states that when you’re overwhelmed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear to tell you that you cut their sandwich wrong
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) May 28, 2022

#12

I spent my time making a home cooked meal and placed it in front of the kids who immediately asked for something different and laughed. Then I laughed. Then we laughed. Then I spoke in a voice not of this world and everyone ate their damn dinner.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) January 4, 2022

#13

5 asked me if I’ve ever been to jail and when I said no, she said “wow, not even for your cooking?”
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) September 26, 2022

#14

Husband: “Ok girls, it’s time to get ready for bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”

7-YO: “YOU have a long day tomorrow. My day is fine.”
— KSV (@KSVesq) January 30, 2023

#15

Before I had kids, I thought I had a great immune system, but it turns out I was just really good at staying away from the type of people who sneeze directly into your eyeballs while telling you a story.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 10, 2018

#16

I accidentally flushed the toilet instead of letting my kid do it which in the toddler community is a crime punishable by death.
— John Cena (@SohnCena) October 3, 2019

#17

My teenager thinks we live in a hotel now! pic.twitter.com/tsK48qt3VU
— Gerry Dee (@gerrydee) April 1, 2020

#18

My husband bought harmonicas for our kids and now I need to find a new family
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 2, 2022

#19

Imagine being 5 minutes from the end of the longest movie ever & it starts over because it forgot something. That's my kid telling a story.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 19, 2019

#20

I just sent my 23-year-old a text of outrage because I got a bill in the mail for highway tolls he didn’t pay and he texted back, “What is a toll?”
— Shannon Watts (@shannonrwatts) September 16, 2023

#21

My daughter went back to college today and I texted her that I missed her so much and she texted back 2.5 hours later, “Yes.” Then, “Sorry, that wasn’t for you.”

I WAS IN LABOR FOR 14 HOURS
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) January 11, 2021

#22

I’m on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, “I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I can’t find it”
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 9, 2023

#23

I swear to God, from now until Christmas, every time one of my kids leaves an empty box in the freezer, or pantry, I'm going to take it out, wrap it, and put it under the Christmas tree with their name on it.
— Jax Persists (@LadyJayPersists) September 27, 2022

25 Funny Tweets From Parents Who Have Had Enough

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#21

#22

#23

#24

#25 And finally, this mom who was REALLY fed up LOL…

Got a minute to stick around? Have some laughs with 25 Funny Tweets About Women Who Are a Force to Be Reckoned With

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#17

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#20

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25 And finally, this mom who was REALLY fed up LOL…

Got a minute to stick around? Have some laughs with 25 Funny Tweets About Women Who Are a Force to Be Reckoned With

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