20 Funny Posts to Start Your Week Off With Some Laughs

Today, I saw 2 teenagers kissing in the park.

It reminded me of my teenage days, when I used to see other teenagers kissing in the park.

— hoppity ن 🇻🇦 〓〓 𖦏 (@carambar_fraise) July 25, 2024

Emails be like unsubscribe here and then they send you an email to tell you you’ve unsubscribed.

— @sherisayssit (@sherisayssit) April 22, 2024

Girls are like "how do you not remember my favorite food" idk how do you not remember what all your leg bruises are from?

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) June 8, 2020

why does my chipotle app need me to have a password with a capital letter and a number and a special character like this is not the department of defense i just want a burrito 😭

— emily may (@emilykmay) May 11, 2024

the smug way my wife walks into the kitchen, casually opens a drawer, and pulls out the exact item she needs on the first try

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) March 1, 2024

I just got a text from the hospital to confirm my appointment and let me know that they were changing it to a virtual visit.

My appointment is for a colonoscopy.

— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) July 24, 2024

doing this cool thing in my house where I replace mundane words to sound more fun! For instance, "chores" have been replaced with "quests" and you "level up" when you complete a "quest"

I am currently at level 0 and have done 0 quests

— inspector ratchet (@_hood_mona_lisa) December 7, 2023

Helping in the kitchen this morning. So far I’ve used 467 paper towels.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 24, 2022

Thrilled to announce that instead of saying “What are you doing?” my 2-year-old child goes around asking, in a tiny haunting voice, “What have you done?”

— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) July 30, 2022

most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them

— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) July 23, 2024

Someone said they liked my lipgloss today and I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was butter from all the toast I just ate

— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) May 7, 2024

Them: you smell nice

Me: thanks, it’s the dryer sheet I just found in my sleeve

— Ok Kate (@Kateness8) April 21, 2024

one time in high school my brother took my car and CRASHED it, got it fixed and put it back in the driveway all within my 6hr school day and he kept it a secret for 4 years!!! i think that’s the most sibling thing ever

— jenny t (@jrtyszka) May 29, 2018

Just over heard my husband telling the dog that he wants nothing more in life than to pet him, so I guess that was 16 years and three kids well spent

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 1, 2024

Canceling my therapy appointment bc I had a bagel and I feel a little better now

— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) October 24, 2024

date: your glasses make you look smart

me: well i had to fail a test to get them so

— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) May 2, 2024

I hate when I eat the last m&m in the bag without realising. Like, I needed to mentally prepare myself for that moment

— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) April 29, 2024

My 5-year-old told me a school friend gave him his address so he can go over for play dates.

The address: pic.twitter.com/mfUjY9OaVN

— Nicole St. Denis (@nicosttweets) April 11, 2024