If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Have a great rest of the week, hope you have some sunshine where you are!
Janene
#1
If you ever need me I’m always just 4 missed calls and 3 text messages away
— Alan Walsh (@AlanWalshtweets) April 30, 2023
#2
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 16, 2023
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.
#3
Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on
— kali 🐇 (@ckaliforniia) November 28, 2022
#4
my theory is every gen X person read a stephen king book way too young and that’s why they are the way they are
— Amy (@lolennui) April 6, 2022
#5
When I sign an email “Yours” it’s not a term of endearment— it means this email is now yours I’m done with it get it away from me.
— Kate McKean (@kate_mckean) March 8, 2021
#6
The cart at Target roll so smooth you don't even realize it's full of stuff you don't need.
— MonsterKing (@CerromeRussell) November 13, 2020
#7
Adulthood is when you constantly diet and exercise so you can maintain being 20lbs overweight
— Bart (@bartandsoul) May 16, 2022
#8
I accidentally flushed the toilet instead of letting my kid do it which in the toddler community is a crime punishable by death.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) October 3, 2019
#9
My young coworkers asked me to show them pictures of me in high school. I said I’d go home and dig some out. They said “can’t you just look on your phone?”
— Emotional Support GOAT🐐 (@SwissArmyWife00) June 7, 2022
And I laughed and laughed and laughed and then cried.
#10
My husband sent me a text asking what happened to our savings account so I sent him back a picture of our kids.
— The Spicy Disaster Mama (@spicydisasterma) June 10, 2021
#11
STUNTMAN ON TV: don't try this at home
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) May 31, 2017
ME [sitting on couch eating out of a 5 lb. bag of m&ms]: ok
#12
My daughter in college texted me and asked where to go to get air in her tires. I told her the gas station and I swear on all that is holy her response was this, “I only have $88 in my bank account. Will it cost more than that?”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) September 23, 2019
#13
Being a baby must be traumatizing at times. Imagine going to sleep in your house and you wake up at Target.
— Cometa (@cometaorg) August 27, 2019
#14
8yo: The internet is down. I’m going to go play at my friend’s house
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 24, 2018
Me: Ok, have fun!
8yo: *Leaves*
Me: *Turns router back on*
#15
being a mom is fun because you can search high and low for the perfect gifts, take them on surprise magical excursions, throw elaborate birthday parties, and your kids will just keep talking about that one time you let them get a Dr. Pepper at the gas station
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) December 17, 2018
#16
sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes i look like a young man in colonial america eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship
— crick (@cricketcg) September 23, 2018
#17
I don’t know who needs to hear this but if the house is 73 and you want it to be 68 turning the thermostat down to 60 doesn’t get you to 68 any quicker
— Jonathan Rittgers (@jonrittgers) August 20, 2020
and by idk who I mean my wife
but I can’t tell her because she is pregnant and scares me
#18
2-year-old wandered away with an apple and came back empty handed. I said “Where’s your apple? Apple cores go in the trash,” and she looked at me funny and said “No, I always put my apple cores underneath.” UNDERNEATH WHAT?? I AM ALARMED.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 17, 2022
#19
Girls only want one thing and it’s this life. pic.twitter.com/Z7xtgAaHeR
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) October 8, 2022
#20
kids today are like “so what did y’all do before the internet? did you just not know anything?” and the answer is yes. you would ask your aunt Marge a question, she’d give you the wrong answer and you’d carry that misinformation for twenty years.
— Owl! at the Library 😴🧙♀️ (@SketchesbyBoze) July 26, 2022
