20 Hilarious Tweets For The Pizza Lovers in Your Life

I recently saw an article on The Food Network that said the average American eats more than 6000 slices of pizza in their lifetime.

My family is Italian on both sides AND my brother owns three pizzerias, so I probably need to multiply that number by at least ten LOL.

In honor of National Pizza Day, I’ve rounded up the funniest tweets I could find about the one food I never tire of…enjoy!

Janene

#1

This elevator smells like pizza at 9:30am and it makes me wonder if someone else is living a better life than me.
— Lili Reinhart (@lilireinhart) January 17, 2018

#2

8-year-old: All people like pizza.

Me: Some people don't.

8: Then they're not people.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 28, 2020

#3

Them: You need to listen to your body more.

Body: You're old. And you want pizza.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 12, 2019

#4

A toddler at the park said he’s having an extra large pizza delivered to the monkey bars and he’s so confident I’m staying to see if it happens.
— OyVeyLady (@OyVeyLady) June 1, 2022

#5

I folded a slice of pizza in half and ate it and my 7yo said “mommy only ate half a piece of pizza” and with those math skills she will always be my favourite child
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 19, 2022

#6

If anyone is wondering why the pizza box reads, "Remove cardboard before baking," feel free to ask my 17yo son.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) January 29, 2019

#7

I may lose friends over this, but I don’t care.

Pineapple on pizza is delicious.
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) June 5, 2020

#8

I said I wasn’t feeling well and my preschoolers advice was “you’ll feel better if you just eat some some pizza”

Long story short he’s my doctor now.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) December 14, 2020

#9

Wife: Do you mind if we have pizza two nights in a row?

Me: Will you marry me again?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 24, 2018

#10

[First day as pizza delivery driver]

Me: Sorry I ate your pizza.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) April 16, 2020

#11

Her: *Uses napkin to blot grease from pizza*
Me: You gonna eat that napkin?
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) February 24, 2019

#12

My son just complained that we eat pizza too often.

I've never been speechless before.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) February 10, 2019

#13

Before you join a meal kit delivery service read this:

Pizza comes to your house already cooked.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) October 30, 2018

#14

Me: This pizza is really good!

Somebody Who Visited Italy With Their Family For A Week When They Were 14: *sighs* It’s fine…
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) August 4, 2020

#15

9-year-old: If I had a pizza restaurant, I would eat pizza every day.

Me: Eventually, you would get sick of it.

9: That's not how pizza works.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 14, 2021

#16

Every single parent in the history of kid’s birthday parties who was offered a slice of pizza and declined really wanted that pizza.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 5, 2021

#17

My husband just messaged to ask if I want him to bring home a pizza and I think this is what the youths call sexting
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) March 24, 2022

#18

One time, I stopped eating pizza when I was full.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) September 23, 2020

#19

My dad was so ashamed ordering my gluten free pineapple pepperoni pizza he said to the phone operator “it’s for my daughter she’s in from California”
— Haley OC (@MILFWEEED) December 19, 2021

#20

My husband wants to make cauliflower crust pizza so now I have to run to the grocery store and find a new husband.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 14, 2020

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For more laughs, check out: “Feeling Seen: How Many of These 25 Tweets Do You Relate To?”

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