The women of Twitter never fail to make me laugh with funny and relatable quips.
Here’s a quick little round-up of some of my favorite tweets from women this week.
Hope these help you start the weekend off with some smiles!
Janene
#1
saw a jar of maraschino cherries at the store for $9.75 and said to myself, no. this is a chance to learn something new. so i got all the fresh ingredients, took them home, went through several recipes, and ended up making something that doesn't taste as good & cost more
— lauren (@Very__Regular) June 30, 2024
#2
social battery running out at the function, call that loosing my yappetite
— lorna shawty (@lornashawty) June 29, 2024
#3
Before my parents married, my mom got cold feet because she couldn’t cook. She said one night, “It will never work. I can’t cook!!”
— Jennifer Begakis (@jenbegakis) July 5, 2024
My Greek dad said calmly, “You can cook five things, no?”
Mom, “Yeah..”
Dad, “Great, we’ll go out to dinner on weekends.”
#4
Pickpocketed in London by a quite old man. Saw him whip my purse out of the side pocket of my bag. Was a nice purse I bought in Paris but swings and roundabouts – I use it to store my emergency travel tampons.
— Rima (@therimaahmed) June 30, 2024
Have fun, tea leaf granda! Hope you only have a light to medium flow x
#5
did y'all know a can of Pringles is more than one serving
— WittySassBasket™ (@WittySassBasket) May 9, 2020
#6
hey wanna come over? I cant get myself to clean my apartment without the looming shame of someone seeing its current state
— Iris 💫 (@Jest_Iris) July 3, 2024
#7
My friend invited us to a party at her country club and for some reason I assumed was a pool party so my whole family showed up in bathing suits and guess what it was NOT a pool party but it was a fancy country club party where everyone was dressed up.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 3, 2024
#8
A kid at the park asked his brothers if they wanted to listen to music. They asked, do you have a phone? And he said, no I have something from back in the day and I was preparing myself to be offended by whatever he was going to show them and then he started playing a harmonica.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) July 2, 2024
#9
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re taking a sip and saying, “That’s good water.”
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) June 30, 2024
#10
*me, listening to my own playlists* omg I LOVE this song
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) June 30, 2024
#11
Me *clicks “text verification code” option on a website*
— Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) July 2, 2024
*verification code comes through*
Me: Omggggg who’s texting me
#12
Birds really out here looking for dates at 4 in the AM. It’s like bird Tinder outside my window every morning
— Heatherhere 👽 (@Heatinblack) July 2, 2024
#13
I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there
— meghan (@banhmigoddess) July 6, 2024
#14
some girl just crashed into me and we both didn’t know what to do so we called our dads and we’re just standing here holding our phones together so our dads can talk to each other 🧍🏻♀️
— camila (@mcamilaapx) July 3, 2024
#15
sometimes you do your food shopping for the week and every meal feels like a little treat from your past self, sometimes you do your food shopping for the week and every meal feels like it was planned by a malevolent buffoon, hellbent on crushing your morale
— Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) July 1, 2024
#16
My mom asked what my office does for faxing since we're completely remote, so I had to tell her we're actually located in 2024
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 3, 2024
#17
Your secret is safe with me and my sister.
— Katie (@ALadyNamedKatie) July 5, 2024
#18
I wish I loved anything as much as my dad loves telling me that the GPS said he was going to be somewhere at 1:17 but he was there at 1:14
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) July 2, 2024
#19
girls will be like “i have so much to do” then grabs some snacks and starts watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.
— nay (dino) 🖤 (@Lilblack_heart) June 29, 2024
#20
The best feature of any accommodation I've ever stayed in is this duck, whose face appears at the back door whenever we crack open some snacks. 5 stars pic.twitter.com/pmNdVct4XJ
— Glenys Norquay (@glenisilla) July 6, 2024
