Just a quick little round up of some funny tweets I think all middle aged women can relate to.
Hope these bring you some laughs!
Janene
#1
It’s actually kind of funny that people pay any attention to beauty/skin/diet/fitness influencers who are in their 20’s. Like “what’s your secret??” Being 22. That’s their secret. If the kale salad exfoliation regimen still works after menopause THEN they might be on to something
— Naomi Rohatyn (@omibaloney) August 15, 2024
#2
My husband: Eats banana pancakes, walks five blocks, loses five pounds
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) October 15, 2022
Me: Eats an egg white omelette, walks five miles, looks at husband’s pancakes, gains five pounds
#3
The biggest lie I learned in school was that women reach their sexual peak at 40. All 40yo me wants is to scroll my phone and eat my bowl of mashed potatoes
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 6, 2023
#4
I always used to wonder why middle-aged women were so angry all the time. Now I'm a middle-aged woman and I'm like oh this is why
— sarah (@sarahradz_) March 29, 2024
#5
Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 27, 2024
Body: You're old. And you want lasagna.
#6
My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.
— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) September 11, 2022
You, dude. You are the reason.
#7
Nothing in life prepares you for getting out of a beanbag chair in your 50s.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) September 28, 2020
#8
The most unbelievable thing in movies is when someone guesses the password of a computer that’s not theirs. I can’t even figure out my own password. That I changed yesterday.
— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) March 9, 2022
#9
Welcome to middle age. Clean sheet night excites you now.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) August 2, 2020
#10
I ordered a cheeseburger at this burger restaurant and while waiting I saw all these gorgeous, young, much-thinner-than-me women eating salad.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) September 21, 2018
At my middle age, I can say unapologetically that I really enjoyed that cheeseburger.
#11
I took my dog for a walk last night and forgot something at home: the dog. I forgot the dog. Menopause is fun.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 25, 2024
#12
Welcome to middle age. You now get stuck in clothes. Godspeed removing that top without dislocating your shoulder.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) July 19, 2023
#13
Welcome to your 50s, water now gives you heartburn.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 20, 2022
#14
Welcome to middle age. You can’t remember if you took your pills 10 minutes after you take your pills.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) July 23, 2021
#15
I'm "I get excited when leftovers fit perfectly in the Tupperware container I picked out" years old.
— Mama Babbles… (@mama_babble) June 16, 2017
#16
You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking “I might as well pee while I’m here”
— Christina Novelli (@MissCNovelli) January 20, 2018
#17
Welcome to your 40s – you now think every car has its brights on.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) December 14, 2019
#18
When did we all decide that women don’t want the second half of the shirt anymore? Did I miss that meeting??
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 4, 2024
#19
Once you hit mid-life, you're assigned a potluck dish that will then be yours for all eternity, mine is buffalo chicken dip.
— Veruca's Alt (@AltVeruca) August 1, 2024
#20
getting older is so fun. ur life goals slowly transition from things like “land dream job” to “successfully grow a cherry tomato”
— chase (@_chase_____) December 21, 2024
#21
I'm at the age where I can't shut up about how I had a coupon and it was on sale.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 29, 2018
#22
Age 25: I need cute shoes for this event.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) April 26, 2024
Age 45: I need cute shoes for this event that I can also wear to work and walk several miles in, don’t make me look old or like I’m trying too hard, won’t hurt my little toe or lower back, will last a minimum of 10 years & are on sale.
#23
#24
#25
