20 of the Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week

Should I be disturbed by the way my 8-year-old daughter plays doctor? I was her patient today, and she just made me fill out forms the whole time.

— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 5, 2024

2024 Parents: decorate cars and wait for hours to have a parade to pick up their 2nd grader on the last day of school.

1988 Parents: why aren’t you at school? Did you miss the bus?
Me: school ended last week.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 7, 2024

My 6yo has a plan to earn money for a playstation

Step 1. Find a huge diamond

— meghan (@deloisivete) June 4, 2024

Before marrying there should be a compatibility test with questions such as: “Do you believe that little pocket in the car door is for garbage yes or no?”

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) June 2, 2024

When I was a teenager my mom had a little mini candy stash at the very top of a cupboard that was Just For Mom and no one else was allowed to touch it and internally I was like "wow 😑 selfish much?" and anyway now I get it

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 3, 2024

Me: The theme for camp this week is around the world. You’re going to learn all about different countries!
My 5yo: I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT PENNSYLVANIA

— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) June 3, 2024

At lunch me and 6 were headed to the Mexican restaurant and he said “we don’t have money for a Lamborghini but we have money for chips and cheese dip and that’s alright too.”

— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) June 3, 2024

My 5yo: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A SINGER AND A DANCER AND A MUSICIAN AND A VETERINARIAN AND A PASTOR AND A TEACHER
Me: Wow! You’d be so good at—
5: I WASN’T DONE

— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) June 3, 2024

Schools be like ok it’s the last week and a world fair so bring a dish from a country you’ve never heard of to feed 75 people at 745 am.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 4, 2024

My 8 year old told me a boy proposed at school and she accepted and this will be her second marriage so I told her she’s going to get a reputation.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 5, 2024

I used to think coffee tables were for the TV remote and large useless books but now I realize they are standing desk workstations for toddler mayhem.

— Ashley Winter MD || Urologist (@AshleyGWinter) June 6, 2024

When your kid hits about age 3 or 4, be prepared for your bandaid budget to absolutely skyrocket

— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 2, 2024

Which cocktail pairs best with helping your teen with her math homework?

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 3, 2024

Me to my 8yo: The paper says you have to “dress to impress” for your award ceremony.

Him: the work wasn’t enough? Why I gotta wear church shoes.

Me: 😂😭😂😭😂💀💀💀💀

— Princess (@themultiplemom) June 6, 2024

One of the other class parents called plates and napkins before I could respond, please send thoughts and prayers at this difficult time as I have to bring something edible to the end of year party

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) June 3, 2024

On a Zoom call at work today, a coworker said she was going on mute because she had found an emergency stash of biscuits, and was trying to eat them all before her kids came home. We all applauded.

— Granite Man 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (@GraniteDhuine) June 6, 2024

Me: I said you would learn a ton working with the public in this job. What would you say is the most important thing you’ve learned so far?

17: That the public is crazy.

— Marly (@VerbsRProudest) June 3, 2024

Daughter saved a bee and made it some motivational posters. pic.twitter.com/3UEti0Clzc

— Anouska Curzon (@Noosh1977) June 2, 2024

If you've ever taught a teen how to drive then you too know this face. pic.twitter.com/DKGbDsZ33E

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 3, 2024