Another week and and another round of funny and relatable tweets from parents!
Here are some of my favorite quips from this week.
Wishing you all a great weekend!
Janene
#1
Having a wife and daughters means there's an 80% chance that any flat surface in your house has a hair tie on it.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 7, 2024
#2
I’m at an art gala for my son’s school and they told the kids to “dress up” so all of them are in suits and beautiful dresses and there’s one kid who misunderstood and came as Spider-Man.
— octopus/caveman (@octopuscaveman) March 2, 2024
#3
“You’re so lucky you’re an adult and can do whatever you want”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) March 3, 2024
-My 8yo, on our way to her 7AM hockey game
#4
"HAM-nesia! I have HAM-nesia cuz I forgot how much I love ham!" my 7yo declared and now I desperately want to work "hamnesia" into regular conversation
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) March 5, 2024
#5
The only PTA I want to join is the one for Pretty Tired Adults and that’s only if it’s about napping.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 2, 2024
#6
My 14 YO lmk that all she wants for her bday is for me to take her & 3 friends for a weekend in an airbnb w/ a hot tub in the mountains w/ for 2 nights. She only wants to order dinner 2 nights & for me to bring our gel nail manicure stuff so I can do all their nails. That’s all.
— Irreverent Reverend ✊🏼🙏🏼 (@TheAmberPicota) March 4, 2024
#7
It's so weird being an introverted parent to an extroverted child because whenever I'm around town without her, strangers are like "hey, where's Greta?" and I'm like you're a random senior citizen in the coffee shop, how do you know my 4-year-old??
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) March 1, 2024
#8
Stores today are like, thanks for buying this gum, please tip us 20%, apply for our credit card, and round up to save the children. Also fill out this survey.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 3, 2024
#9
Last weekend I took my kids to their first theme park. The logistics, money, hauling of all the things, lines…all ok because I wanted to do something special for them.
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) March 7, 2024
I also took them to a playground.
Then, because I must hate myself, I asked them which they liked better.
#10
My daughter brought a giant stack of plates and cups out of her room, saw that I was annoyed, and said “should we just throw these away?”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) March 6, 2024
#11
See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple
— Mom Jeans (@momjeansplease) March 7, 2024
#12
Diet math is forgetting to step on the scale BEFORE you get dressed so you start doing calculations like “ok my jeans weigh like at least 6 lbs, and my shirt is 3 lbs, easy. These socks are probs a pound each, plus my undies.
— Twinzer Dad (@TwinzerDadUC) March 8, 2024
Ok, that means, adjusted for clothes, I lost 30 lbs)
#13
My 4yo wanted to show me how she’d put her little brother to bed. When we opened his door, he was up playing with toys. She cried NO YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN BED and my oh my, how the tables have turned
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) March 3, 2024
#14
Having a 3yo is wild bc one minute you'll be having an in-depth conversation about the difference between cold and warm-blooded animals and how the circulatory system works and 30 sec later they'll be on the floor screaming because you cut their watermelon with the wrong knife.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) March 5, 2024
#15
As a parent, nothing prepares you for that first time your potty-training toddler declares “I want to do it myself” and sits down naked on the floor of a 7/11 bathroom to put their pants on.
— Upside Dad (@UpsideDad) March 4, 2024
#16
I showed my 4yo a picture of me standing in front of the Eiffel Tower, and now every time we drive by an electrical tower on the highway she says LOOK MOMMY THE EIFFEL TOWER!!
— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) March 4, 2024
I think I’ll wait a while before budgeting our first family trip to Europe
#17
I love kindness unless it’s a person at a four way stop waving for me to go when it is clearly their turn.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 4, 2024
#18
Something I wasn't prepared for as a mother is how you're supposed to suddenly be good at crafts and have craft supplies and want to do them
— sarah (@sarahradz_) March 3, 2024
#19
I think I’m pretty smart until I’m asked to tap to pay for something- here? where? here? do it again? did that work?
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) March 5, 2024
#20
Have brought my 5 year old to his mates party at a huge inflatable park.
— Holly (@SocialistHB) March 2, 2024
Couldn’t recognise any parents. Son said he can’t see any friend.
I AM A DAY EARLY pic.twitter.com/E4DlppmVnx
