20 of the Best Tweets From Funny Mom Krista Pacion

My kid hasn’t finished her homework but she did call a family meeting to show us the 20 slide presentation she created on why we should get a cat.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) November 26, 2023

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you can stay in your pajamas all weekend if you want to.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 16, 2024

Had a repairman over for a quote, and as I was explaining the issue, my husband walked in, and suddenly the repairman couldn’t see or hear me. But that’s okay, he had a nice conversation with my husband and I hired someone else to do the job.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 1, 2022

English majors assert dominance by accurately using semicolons. I don’t make the rules; however, I follow them.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 19, 2024

My kid wanted to know what we did on sick days when we were kids so I played an old episode of The Price Is Right and followed it up with an old episode of The Young and the Restless.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 23, 2024

My teen complained about my cooking, so I stopped fighting it and filled the freezer with frozen dinners instead of making dinner, and after a week of frozen dinners, guess who’s asking me to cook again.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 18, 2024

Why are people so determined to break the ice when the ice is fine just the way it is thank you very much?

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 21, 2024

Can’t wait to tell my grandkids about how we all collectively agreed to continue calling it Twitter.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) April 9, 2024

Had two bowls of Cap’n Crunch for lunch and now I won’t be able to eat till the roof of my mouth heals but it was totally worth it.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 8, 2024

Overheard my kid asking her dad who his favorite princess is and bonus points for him because he said “Mom” and didn’t even know I was listening.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) January 3, 2024

My teen is using chopsticks to eat Cheetos so she doesn’t get Cheeto dust on her fingers and can we just fast track her application to Yale now?

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 28, 2023

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 4, 2024

My husband took the kids to brunch so I’m gonna get wild and drink my coffee while it’s still hot.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) November 24, 2023

My kid cleaned the kitchen without being asked, and now we wait to see what she wants.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 24, 2024

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 3, 2023

Met my friends for drinks and dinner at 4pm and made it home and into my pjs by 8pm. This is what success looks like.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) September 30, 2023

10yo’s friend came over and loved what I made for dinner, so yes, I do have a favorite child.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 12, 2023

I love the Oxford comma, but I try to keep it between me, myself, and I.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) April 6, 2024

Ever notice how great your house looks after a good rage cleaning?

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) March 31, 2024

I never thought getting up from the couch to go to bed would be part of my heroic journey, but here we are.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) April 1, 2024