20 of the Best Tweets From Women This Week

Being a people pleaser and an introvert is so hard because I want people to like me but I also don’t want to talk to them

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 23, 2023

I don’t want to brag but I pulled into the driveway at 5:34 and had my pajamas on by 5:38

— sheologian (@sheologian) September 28, 2023

We’ve reached the point where the people in the stock photos of the picture frames I bought are part of the family

— The Mom Hack (@TheMomHack) September 28, 2023

When I have a piece of mail that needs attention, what I like to do is move it around from the kitchen table to the kitchen counter to another surface repeatedly until I die.

— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) September 23, 2023

Giving my classroom gluesticks human names has been revolutionary. Does a student care if a glue stick goes missing? No! Do they care if DEREK the glue stick has not been returned? ABSOLUTELY. It’s like a manhunt until Derek has been returned to his rightful spot.

— Miss B (@MissBThe3rd) September 27, 2023

I listed a record player for sale that I got for my husband years ago for Father’s Day. He has never once used it. Of course, now that I have someone coming to pick it up tomorrow, he decided he wanted to keep it. So I made him buy it off me. He just Venmoed me.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) September 24, 2023

I feel so privileged to be alive at the same time that pre-made tortelloni that cooks in two minutes exist

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) September 25, 2023

I saw a 50 year old woman singing and dancing to Alanis Morisette in the grocery store while purchasing margarita mix at 9 in the morning and I have a new life goal

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) September 24, 2023

Very nice of Taylor to visit her stadiums during the off-season

— Sav 🪩 (@SavLovesSwift) September 24, 2023

I just bought a cake on my way home, that's how my day was

— Ammargarita🧜‍♀️🍸 (@annmargarita72) September 26, 2023

When I hear my voice on a recording, I feel like I need to apologize to everyone I talk to on a daily basis.

— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) September 27, 2023

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. What do they do in their spare time? Relax? Enjoy peace and quiet? Finish a complete thought???

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 26, 2023

…and for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) September 25, 2023

i shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. i should get to stare out the window all day like a cat

— trash jones (@jzux) September 29, 2023

My neighbor and I stepped out at the same time, both of us dressed up for meetings. I nodded at him approvingly. He looked me up and down and grinned. I STILL GOT IT, I thought. Gave my presentation to 50 people. Get home only to realize my pants are inside out.

— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) September 26, 2023

A guy asked me what it was like to be a woman in the workplace and another guy answered for me.

Nailed it.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) September 28, 2023

just witnessed a man in his seventies running around the track at the gym WHILE JUGGLING BOWLING PINS and a staff member had to approach him and say, presumably, “sir you aren’t allowed to juggle bowling pins while running on the track.”

— emily (@emilykmay) September 29, 2023

Continuing my canning for the winter pic.twitter.com/xs2g5Tzf84

— Karen Grose 🇨🇦 (@kgrose2) September 25, 2023

i still don’t really know if hot or cold air is supposed to defog my windshield.

— emily (@emilykmay) September 23, 2023

My dad's secretary told my sisters and me that one time the whole office was out having drinks and going around complaining about their wives and when it got time for my dad to say something he said idk I love my wife she's my best friend.

— Lilly (@lillybilly299) September 25, 2023