25 Funny Tweets For Some Back-to-School Laughs

Forgot to post a picture to social media of my kids on their first day of school. Do they have to repeat the year now, or what happens?

— Unfiltered Mama 💗✌️ (@UnfilteredMama) August 28, 2018

Settle down, school picture day packages. I don't need a body pillow with my son's face embroidered on it for $400.

— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) September 30, 2016

Got to my daughter’s elementary school an hour early so I could be 12th in line for pickup.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 30, 2021

The kids are asking for fun shaped sandwiches for their back-to-school lunches and I’m so flattered they’ve mistaken me for the kind of mother who would do that

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 8, 2023

Just thinking back to my first day of 6th grade when I wore jeans and a sweater to school even though it was 96° because they were my new back to school clothes.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 31, 2021

I love my kids, but not make back to school signs love them.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) August 11, 2022

Annual back to school reminder that buying rose art crayons is not ok.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 28, 2022

Me: How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Okay.

Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better.

5: I have to go back?

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 12, 2019

Parenting tip: After your first child is born, go buy 20 years worth of poster board. This will save you countless 10:00 PM trips to CVS.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 24, 2014

Me: Hurry up or you'll be late for school.

7-year-old: Why would that make me go faster?

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 22, 2017

I put the principal’s name down as the emergency contact on my kid’s back to school forms, since he can respond fastest without missing work

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 16, 2023

So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) January 3, 2023

We have an emergency! Tomorrow is the first day of school and we don't have a little chalkboard for our kids to hold for the FB photos.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 31, 2017

My daughter is stoked about starting a new school this year so she can meet new friends like “Bobby, Brenda or Lisa” and I’m excited, too, because I didn’t realize we were sending her to 4th grade in 1965.

— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) August 23, 2021

Is there a secret store that sells full length shirts for girls starting middle school or do we just have to make our own?

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 27, 2022

Thanks to whoever make the decision to schedule school pictures right after recess on a super hot day. My son looks like he requires immediate medical attention.

— Mommy Needs a Life (@momneedsalife3) September 30, 2022

My kids are late to their first day of school because I don’t want to give their teachers the wrong impression of us by being on time

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 28, 2023

Got a call from my son’s preschool today. I had to go pick him up early because he *checks notes* gave himself a headache dancing too hard in music class.

— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) March 28, 2023

Ordered new coats for my kids and for convenience I had them shipped directly to their school’s lost and found section

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 28, 2024

Kindergartener on first day of school today (peeks through door window of my office/storage room): Teacher, is that where your bedroom is at?

— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) August 12, 2025

why can’t there be a school picture package with only 1 big picture and 3 medium ones? has anyone in existence used up 52 wallet sized pics of their kids?

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) September 15, 2021

When I was a kid we didn't have school backpacks. We carried 8 books & a Trapper Keeper in our arms and we dropped everything every 5 feet and that’s how we liked it.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 12, 2024

My fourth grader is having a rough start to the school year. He's not having fun because "there are no troublemakers in the class" and thus the days aren't "spicy enough." Please pray for him.

— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) August 29, 2024

I had a family show up fifteen minutes late to my Back-to-School meet and greet. As they walk through my classroom door, the little boy says, “We’re late because my dad had to poop.”

— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) August 11, 2024