If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
oh how i love to put clothes in the wash and think "now all my dirty clothes are gone, not my problem anymore" and how i hate the sneering little song the dryer makes when it's finished…i'll press dry again 10 times before i'll admit they're my responsibility once more
— Daniel M. Lavery (@daniel_m_lavery) August 19, 2024
#2
My husband listens to me like he doesn’t realize there’s going to be a quiz later.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) November 3, 2022
#3
my whole life consists of people asking me if i’ve seen this movie and me telling them no i haven’t seen that movie and then them telling me i should see that movie and then me telling them i’ll add it to the list but there is no list and i won’t watch that movie
— b (@curseoffeeling) December 20, 2018
#4
4yo: I need $60.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) January 7, 2023
Me: Why?!
4yo: Don't worry about that.
#5
always humbling that plants that survived whatever killed the dinosaurs cannot survive two weeks under my care
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) March 17, 2024
#6
Thinking about a former student who told me she had started watching old movies, and when I asked oh like Casablanca countered with no The Breakfast Club
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 14, 2023
#7
In the time it took my kid to put on his shoes I folded a stack of laundry, made a sandwich, ate the sandwich, cleaned the kitchen and brokered world peace
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 9, 2022
#8
Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) February 23, 2023
#9
While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my son’s trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didn’t notice until he’d walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Only one of us thinks this is funny.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) January 6, 2023
#10
My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. Some highlights:
— Shiv Ramdas Buk Riter (@nameshiv) February 21, 2023
"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Hold on to it. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world"
#11
as a child i thought i'd have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life
— mike (@boy_from_school) May 13, 2018
#12
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 16, 2023
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.
#13
By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. I am like reeallly good at getting old.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 19, 2023
#14
My job gives us $4 every time we check-in to a gym, $15 every time we run a race/marathon, $1 every mile we walk or run, $.50 every mile we cycle, $4 for every 15 mins or more we indoor row and $2 for every mile we hike.
— Terrance, No Howard (@thunter86) August 19, 2024
Connected my Apple Watch so fast. 😭
#15
I’m just a girl adding $132 worth of merchandise to my cart so I don’t have to pay the $10 shipping charge.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) December 12, 2019
#16
My twins were playing policemen and arrested me for giving them “yukky dinner” then they sentenced me to no cooking for eighty twelve days and I’m just appealing for a longer sentence
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) December 8, 2021
#17
Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) October 20, 2021
#18
#19
Missouri has two major cities, and they both look like they are desperately trying to get out of the state pic.twitter.com/OICevKmT85
— Midwest vs. Everybody (@midwestern_ope) August 20, 2024
#20 I am Italian on both sides of my family so this one really hit home LOL!
Italian couple fighting in front of me and the guy is holding two ice creams so the girl can move her hands around while shouting
— mariana (@pastapilled) August 18, 2023
