If you’re feeling like it’s already been a long week, take a little humor break with these 20 tweets that made me laugh.
Wishing you a good rest of the week!
Janene
#1
oh how i love to put clothes in the wash and think "now all my dirty clothes are gone, not my problem anymore" and how i hate the sneering little song the dryer makes when it's finished…i'll press dry again 10 times before i'll admit they're my responsibility once more
— Daniel M. Lavery (@daniel_m_lavery) August 19, 2024
#2
My husband listens to me like he doesn’t realize there’s going to be a quiz later.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) November 3, 2022
#3
always humbling that plants that survived whatever killed the dinosaurs cannot survive two weeks under my care
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) March 17, 2024
#4
4yo: I need $60.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) January 7, 2023
Me: Why?!
4yo: Don't worry about that.
#5
my whole life consists of people asking me if i’ve seen this movie and me telling them no i haven’t seen that movie and then them telling me i should see that movie and then me telling them i’ll add it to the list but there is no list and i won’t watch that movie
— b (@curseoffeeling) December 20, 2018
#6
Thinking about a former student who told me she had started watching old movies, and when I asked oh like Casablanca countered with no The Breakfast Club
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 14, 2023
#7
In the time it took my kid to put on his shoes I folded a stack of laundry, made a sandwich, ate the sandwich, cleaned the kitchen and brokered world peace
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) October 9, 2022
#8
I’m just saying, if a robot can perform surgery it can probably select the pictures with traffic lights
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) October 20, 2022
#9
While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my son’s trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didn’t notice until he’d walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. Only one of us thinks this is funny.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) January 6, 2023
#10
Just refilling my kids’ water bottles for the third time today and thinking about how I didn’t drink a glass of water my entire childhood.
— Cereal on the Floor (@cerealonfloor) July 19, 2021
#11
my three year old asked me to ‘pretend she was 14’ for a minute so i said okay… you’re 14. so what’s your favourite thing to do as a 14 year old? and she replied ‘big girl things… like chopping onions’
— Cardi BTEC (@amelia_perrin) October 26, 2024
#12
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 16, 2023
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.
#13
By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. I am like reeallly good at getting old.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 19, 2023
#14
I have a “dry clean only” sweater that is about to learn some harsh truths about living with me
— jordan (@jordan_stratton) March 27, 2019
#15
I’m just a girl adding $132 worth of merchandise to my cart so I don’t have to pay the $10 shipping charge.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) December 12, 2019
#16
My twins were playing policemen and arrested me for giving them “yukky dinner” then they sentenced me to no cooking for eighty twelve days and I’m just appealing for a longer sentence
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) December 8, 2021
#17
Turns out you can just buy a birthday cake anytime and eat it yourself. Nobody checks.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) October 20, 2021
#18
#19
My cat started gagging so I put down a paper towel for her to throw up on and look what she did 😑 pic.twitter.com/EAsScgD7oT
— Dr. fem boi magnet (@La_calderone) June 22, 2024
#20
Italian couple fighting in front of me and the guy is holding two ice creams so the girl can move her hands around while shouting
— mariana (@pastapilled) August 18, 2023
